So I was just driving back from an outing with my kids and thought I’d share a typical moment in the life of being a parent. Outings with kids always prove most enlightening on multiple levels. There are various obstacles related to age but no matter the age there are a few common factors: patience, wander, and observation. The patience factor is the one that makes you desperately wish your child had duct tape over their mouths to subdue the endless barrage of requests to buy one of everything they see. It is paralleled only to the screaming child which as a single and childless person you roll your eyes at with frustration but as a parent you send an understanding look of sympathy. Then you offer a silent prayer of thanks that it’s not your child and a p.s. to please keep it from becoming your child. The wander factor is two fold in that first you constantly worry about your child being more than two inches away from you thanks to movies and media like “Adam“, and second in that the moment they do get a hand’s reach away they’re touching or picking up something. I now understand what it means to “Look with your eyes and not with your hands” and thank my mother for her tireless efforts to implant the lesson in my brain. This is the factor that makes me wish someone would invent some type of force field that would prevent your kids from leaving your side - basically working something like crazy glue. And finally is the observation factor which leaves a parent with so many things to discuss later with the kids and spouse. This is the factor that causes a little too much enlightenment in some areas for your kids and the purpose of this post.

As we were standing in line to pay (you know the endless wait, constant calls for price checks, etc. that are especially prone to discount stores) my daughter observed another family with young kids. The kids were fighting and yelling at one another at a near deafening decibel. My eight year old daughter turns to me and whispers, “They’re being naughty kids aren’t they mom?” I just smile and tell her how glad I am that she’s not being naughty. When we get in the car she tells me that if she were the parent of those kids she’d ground them until they were 19. I suppress a laugh and tell her the hardest part of being a parent is learning how to apply the appropriate punishment to fit a bad behavior. I asked her if I were to ground her for yelling at her three year old brother every time she did if she’d ever have a day she wasn’t grounded. She says, “Hmmmmm, maybe that’s not such a good idea.” I suggested something more like losing a privilege or getting a time out instead. She agrees that maybe this would be better.

The beauty is what came next. It’s one of the moments you pray for as a parent because you constantly question if you’re getting through to your kids. She asks me if I remember the privileges on the fridge. This was a magnet system I came up with when she was four. I’d put pictures of her favorite privileges like swimming, playing with a friend, watching cartoons, etc. on business card magnets. One side of the fridge was the “good” side the other the “bad.” When her behavior became unacceptable she might have to move one to the bad side resulting in it being lost for a time and when she earned it back it would go back to the other side. I couldn’t believe she remembered it let alone was now asking if we could do it again.

The moral of the post is never give up hope. Sometimes they’re absorbing more than you think. ;o)

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