Letting Go
Every mom experiences it. I even tried to plan for it. It’s a catch twenty-two situation: You’re totally excited and happy to see your child grow and at the same time you mourn their growth.
As you can clearly see, my three year old shows pure delight with his first day of preschool. Mom is sad to realize the end of a season in her life as her baby goes to school - again.
That’s right this is the second time. There’s five years between my kids so I already did this half day of school every day of the week once when my daughter went to Kindergarten not knowing at the time that she was not going to be my only child. I felt the same things that day knowing my baby was growing up and there was nothing I could do about it. It was tough to accept that I couldn’t keep her little. But you can’t. Everyone grows, time always passes and we are left to our own devices to deal with it.
Subconsciously my brain must have been trying to do just that as I had a horrible dream this morning. I’m no dream doctor but you can read for yourself the many levels of emotions I must have been trying to sort. I dreamt I was taking my daughter to her first day of school at a new school (which also happened this year) and everything that could go wrong did. We were frantically trying to get her where she needed to go as doors kept changing on us and bells started ringing telling us we were late. When I finally got her to her room panic struck as I realized I didn’t have my son with me. I must have left him in the car! A search that felt like it lasted all day finally ended with me finding my son in the back seat of the car asleep. The car was buried under dirt from construction going on and I dug frantically to get to my baby. I woke up, heart pounding and tears burning my eyes. It was only 6:00 a.m. I snuck to the door where my babies lay sound asleep and just stood there for several minutes grateful to know where they were and know they were still my babies. I suppose in this way they always will be.
It’s not all sad though. How can you feel sorrow when your child is SO happy and full of joy? The anticipation of this day has been in motion for well over two months now with the daily question of “Mom, when I go to kools?” And you can SEE his delight this morning.
Yes, there’s no denying that he’s delighted to be going to his first day of school. His teacher is so sweet and it sure helps to have this image in my head as I walked away:
He’s in good hands. I’m sure when I pick him up later today he’ll be full of stories and excitement to share. He was ready for this step. Mom wasn’t, but mom will be okay because her boy is taking his first steps to reaching his full potential. What more could a parent ask for?
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I can’t believe he’s this old already! I makes me think that it won’t be that long and we’ll be doing the same thing -Ouch that hurts.
Comment by Bryan — August 28, 2006 @ 1:42 pm
Ouch! Yes, it truly does hurt to let each one start flying with their own wings, and I can’t believe I did five times!! Wait until they walk away with a spouse and they really don’t come back at the end of the day! Oh, the learning of life, not always easy.
Comment by mardean — August 28, 2006 @ 3:33 pm
Taylor is such a great kid! He was so full of enthusiasm and couldn’t wait to play with EVERY toy. He made so many new friends today and I can’t wait to see how much he learns this year. We are so happy to have Taylor in our class!
Comment by Ms. Kim — August 28, 2006 @ 3:43 pm
Boy does time fly by it seems like only yesterday that Tay was a baby and here we are watching him grow up. I hope his first day of school was wonderful and is just as excited to go back another day.
Comment by JaNan — August 29, 2006 @ 9:47 am
Hi thanks for your comment at Red’s Review http://www.redthebarber.com, I checked out your blog and really like it. I decided to add your blog to my blogroll as Holly’s Corner using the url you left me. Hope everything goes well for you, happy blogging.
Comment by Redthebarber — August 31, 2006 @ 12:17 pm
Hi Red,
You’re welcome. ;o) Happy blogg’n right back at ya!
Hugs,
Holly
Comment by holly.schwendiman — August 31, 2006 @ 1:02 pm
[…] We started preschool this week and we entered our second week of soccer practices for my daughter. Neither are monumental shifts but my whole balance technique seems to have been rudely knocked off course. Today I was so nuts after the first couple hours of attempts at making headway at the computer that I just walked away and cleaned. I felt a little better. […]
Pingback by Holly’s Corner Blog » I Must Be Insane — August 31, 2006 @ 4:46 pm
Looking through you site I checked out your beliefs page… what a remarkable coincidence… my wife and i believe the same things you do.
Redthebarber
Comment by Redthebarber — September 1, 2006 @ 8:25 am
What a fun coincidence! I love finding folks who have things in common - especially beliefs. We can learn so much from each other. ;o) I read on your about page that you are just outside the DC area. My BIL lives in VA with his family. I very much love the landscape and greenery of the east. I was definitely born in the right time because if I’d been with the saints when they were told “this is the place” I’d have said no way I’m going back to the lush landscape!! ROFL
Comment by holly.schwendiman — September 1, 2006 @ 10:07 am
That face you have in that picture? Yeah, picture that but will a whole boatload of tears and red puffy eyes. That would have been me. It’s so hard letting them grow up!
Comment by Black Belt Mama — September 19, 2006 @ 7:20 am
[…] 1) I have two different colored eyes (you can see it best in the picture of this post) 2) My favorite drink is Mountain Dew 3) I’ve taught classes for educators through Albertson’s “Teaching With Technology” program 4) I received a full tuition scholarship to a 2-year college for good grades 5) I was voted best actress by my HS drama club - MAPs (Madison Avenue Players) […]
Pingback by Holly’s Corner Blog » Tag Isn’t Just For Kids… — November 24, 2006 @ 9:33 am
[…] I look back at what a few months can do and just have to giggle. Letting him go the first day was hard for this mom yet just months later we’re both showing off our smiles. […]
Pingback by Holly’s Corner Blog » We Made It! — May 24, 2007 @ 9:56 am
Oh wow. That face!!! If that doesn’t say it all, I don’t what does! My heart bleeds because I KNOW how that feels - letting go. Just wait until they start high school. *LA-SIGH*
The teacher looks very kind, that’s so important! He definitely looks like he’s in good hands.
Thanks so much for playing!!
Comment by Write From Karen — August 17, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
Well, that certainly brought back memories. He’s adorable and clearly up for the experience. Hang in there, mom!
Comment by JHS — August 18, 2007 @ 7:23 am
Hi, the photos of you and your kids is so adorable! Exactly, there will come a time when they grow up, so fast that before you know it, they’ll be moving out and handling a life of their own already. So do remember to take every joy turthfully and heartfully at every moment.
Cheers! Fara - http://www.pickmeupteam.wordpress.com
Comment by Faramir — April 25, 2008 @ 12:54 am