Comments on: Adoption Misconceptions http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/ Make it a masterpiece. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:29:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Babylune » What Adoption Usually Looks Like http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/comment-page-1/#comment-361 Babylune » What Adoption Usually Looks Like Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:13:20 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/#comment-361 [...] This, I have learned from reading other mothers’ blogs. So, if you are inspired by Madonna’s latest addition to her family to learn more about what adoption usually looks like, I recommend these blogs by adoptive mothers who share how their families were put together: Holly’s Corner features daily updates from the life of a mother in an open adoption with both of her children’s birth mothers. Holly’s Corner is also featured as this week’s Blog Jolt. [...] [...] This, I have learned from reading other mothers’ blogs. So, if you are inspired by Madonna’s latest addition to her family to learn more about what adoption usually looks like, I recommend these blogs by adoptive mothers who share how their families were put together: Holly’s Corner features daily updates from the life of a mother in an open adoption with both of her children’s birth mothers. Holly’s Corner is also featured as this week’s Blog Jolt. [...]

]]> By: Jayda http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/comment-page-1/#comment-303 Jayda Wed, 11 Oct 2006 21:53:52 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/#comment-303 Hi Holly Thanks for your comment! I'm really not sure what wordless Wednesday is, could you let me know and maybe I'll check it out. I started feeling like maybe I was in the wrong place with my Blog because I don't run a Business and I'm not selling anything. I sent TypePad a comment about it but they told me this place can also be a personal blog space. I tried E Blogger but didn't really like it. So still not sure if I'm in the right place but glad to have come across you Have a great day Jayda Hi Holly

Thanks for your comment!
I’m really not sure what wordless Wednesday is, could you let me know and maybe I’ll check it out.

I started feeling like maybe I was in the wrong place with my Blog because I don’t run a Business and I’m not selling anything. I sent TypePad a comment about it but they told me this place can also be a personal blog space.

I tried E Blogger but didn’t really like it.
So still not sure if I’m in the right place but glad to have come across you

Have a great day
Jayda

]]> By: holly.schwendiman http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/comment-page-1/#comment-293 holly.schwendiman Wed, 11 Oct 2006 15:19:48 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/#comment-293 Hi Kate, thanks for dropping in and commenting. The media is the biggest influence on this thinking (any for that matter.) They propagate exaggerated and extreme cases because negative sells and it only takes one media story on the bad to overshadow the thousands of successful/correct adoptions every year. In fact, this is the very kind of case that has created the onslaught of new red tape and laws to prevent it from happening. Putative father laws were created and passed in several states for this very reason as a solution. It's also proof positive of the importance of using a good lawyer who understands the laws and creates a tight legal completion of the adoption - especially when the laws of two states are involved. Most reversal stories people have association with happened before the legal completion - or with some part missing. But all that is heard by the public is that you can just change your mind at any time. The saddest proof of bureaucracy being out of touch is the reality that no man - even a legal husband - has any jurisdiction to interfere with or legally influence a woman's choice to abort a child, but ANY man with sexual relations can interfere with and legally influence a woman's choice to place a child for adoption. Sad, very sad. Hi Kate, thanks for dropping in and commenting. The media is the biggest influence on this thinking (any for that matter.) They propagate exaggerated and extreme cases because negative sells and it only takes one media story on the bad to overshadow the thousands of successful/correct adoptions every year. In fact, this is the very kind of case that has created the onslaught of new red tape and laws to prevent it from happening. Putative father laws were created and passed in several states for this very reason as a solution. It’s also proof positive of the importance of using a good lawyer who understands the laws and creates a tight legal completion of the adoption - especially when the laws of two states are involved. Most reversal stories people have association with happened before the legal completion - or with some part missing. But all that is heard by the public is that you can just change your mind at any time. The saddest proof of bureaucracy being out of touch is the reality that no man - even a legal husband - has any jurisdiction to interfere with or legally influence a woman’s choice to abort a child, but ANY man with sexual relations can interfere with and legally influence a woman’s choice to place a child for adoption. Sad, very sad.

]]> By: Kate http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/comment-page-1/#comment-290 Kate Wed, 11 Oct 2006 07:30:07 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/#comment-290 I think the state of Florida has generated a lot of cases that have influenced the "what it the parents change their mind" perception. There, I think it's a case of fathers who didn't know they were fathers finding out about the adoption and demanding custody. It is a terrible situation because, in at least one case, the father was very abusive toward the birth mother and, by placing the child up for adoption out of state, she hoped to protect the child. I wrote to Governor Bush, who appointed the judge who reversed the adoption, but was told that citizens can just not re-elect the judge. It just shows a totally out-of-touch bureaucracy since the judge was "appointed." I think the state of Florida has generated a lot of cases that have influenced the “what it the parents change their mind” perception. There, I think it’s a case of fathers who didn’t know they were fathers finding out about the adoption and demanding custody.

It is a terrible situation because, in at least one case, the father was very abusive toward the birth mother and, by placing the child up for adoption out of state, she hoped to protect the child. I wrote to Governor Bush, who appointed the judge who reversed the adoption, but was told that citizens can just not re-elect the judge. It just shows a totally out-of-touch bureaucracy since the judge was “appointed.”

]]> By: holly.schwendiman http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/comment-page-1/#comment-289 holly.schwendiman Wed, 11 Oct 2006 01:35:25 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/#comment-289 Hi Barbara, There you are! I've been missing you. ;o) It's an amazing thing isn't it? Just tonight two of the neighbor girls were asking if I was REALLY Cidnie's REAL mom. I told them absolutely, positively, always and forever. As for judging, that is all too common isn't it? I guess it's very easy to sit on our perch and cast stones until it comes to roost in our own nest. Experience is a wonderful equalizer. Thanks for sharing this family success story! It proves my theory that your kids are as well adjusted (or not) as you their adoptive parent is with their adoption. I suppose the same is true of all aspects of life, not just adoption but it's still amazing to me. As is the positive impact we can have on each other when we put the needs of another above ourselves. Hugs, Holly Hi Barbara,

There you are! I’ve been missing you. ;o) It’s an amazing thing isn’t it? Just tonight two of the neighbor girls were asking if I was REALLY Cidnie’s REAL mom. I told them absolutely, positively, always and forever.

As for judging, that is all too common isn’t it? I guess it’s very easy to sit on our perch and cast stones until it comes to roost in our own nest. Experience is a wonderful equalizer.

Thanks for sharing this family success story! It proves my theory that your kids are as well adjusted (or not) as you their adoptive parent is with their adoption. I suppose the same is true of all aspects of life, not just adoption but it’s still amazing to me. As is the positive impact we can have on each other when we put the needs of another above ourselves.

Hugs,
Holly

]]> By: Barbara http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/comment-page-1/#comment-288 Barbara Wed, 11 Oct 2006 01:11:51 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2006/10/10/adoption-misconceptions/#comment-288 The oldest of my younger sisters is not able to conceive. Her and her husband went thru a couple of adoption attempts that were not successful. When the youngest of my sisters found herself inadvertantly pregnant, she came to the decision that she would not be able to care for another child as she was already a single parent struggling. One of the concerns that the family had with her offer to allow my other sister to adopt this child was "what if you change your mind?" Not the legal aspects, but the emotional consequences to the entire family. We are 9 siblings and very close. It was intense and we all took a long time to really come to the conviction that it would not happen. That was 14 years ago and turned out to be a complete success. My nephew knows that his mother did not give birth to him and that his aunt did. There are occasional instances with the other children that his birth mother has. Once recently the youngest said something to him about him really being her brother and he was very gentle about explaining adoption and the relationship to her. There are people who know his birth mother who judge her for her decision, they look for a deeper connection between the two - the mother child connection. But she really is his aunt in her heart as well as his. Barbara http://the-string-and-i.blogspot.com/ The oldest of my younger sisters is not able to conceive. Her and her husband went thru a couple of adoption attempts that were not successful.

When the youngest of my sisters found herself inadvertantly pregnant, she came to the decision that she would not be able to care for another child as she was already a single parent struggling.

One of the concerns that the family had with her offer to allow my other sister to adopt this child was “what if you change your mind?” Not the legal aspects, but the emotional consequences to the entire family. We are 9 siblings and very close. It was intense and we all took a long time to really come to the conviction that it would not happen.

That was 14 years ago and turned out to be a complete success. My nephew knows that his mother did not give birth to him and that his aunt did.

There are occasional instances with the other children that his birth mother has. Once recently the youngest said something to him about him really being her brother and he was very gentle about explaining adoption and the relationship to her.

There are people who know his birth mother who judge her for her decision, they look for a deeper connection between the two - the mother child connection. But she really is his aunt in her heart as well as his.

Barbara
http://the-string-and-i.blogspot.com/

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