I can’t believe a whole week has gone by, but it was a week ago today that I posted my last Simple Balance tip!

Today’s tip is kind of a double whammy for information. It’s about the importance and value of routines and my recent re-education of the concept.

As a woman addicted to organizing, my challenge has always been to keep enough spontaneity in my day to day life to keep some balance. But then I was forced to look at organization through a new lens - the eyes of my ADD child. It’s more than learning to cope with daily stresses, it’s the power to overcome them.

You know they say what goes around comes around. Well, I had some pretty ignorant opinions about AD/HD (also recognized as ADD and ADHD - A=attention, D=deficit, 2nd D=disorder, H=hyperactive and although you can have attention deficit without hyperactivity, the most common term used is ADHD) so I guess it serves me right that I’d get a humble dose of experience to open my eyes.

I used to blow off ADD as a label and excuse that has become too common in a world of instant fixes and less responsibility. I looked within my and dh’s immediate family and saw a couple siblings that so easily could have been diagnosed ADHD but they turned out fine so I figured it was all bunch of bullarchy (yes, that’s my own word) made up by people who had too much time on their hands and little to no experience as a parent. I’ve frequently voiced many times over how frustrated I get with the world’s view of kids not being able to just be kids anymore, so that was my take on it. I didn’t know anything about medications for it, just heard “Ritalin” and a lot of really negative stuff about it so medication for a “behavior thing” seemed ludicrous to me.

In a nut shell, everything I thought I knew and had an opinion has evolved. It’s not a bogus label. Experience is the only true teacher, and it serves me right given how strong my opinion was even if it was based on second hand information and ignorance. We don’t know everything about it - quite the contrary but we do know there’s no quick fix, no magical or single solution. It takes a well rounded plan of resources to help. And the first step was helping my daughter obtain the ability to learn organization and study habits. This meant helping her brain make the necessary connections with the help of medication. For the first time in her young academic career she came home with the first behavior report of the year full of the highest marks and praise. I cried tears of joy and she was on cloud nine with a confidence boost beyond description. And better yet, is now that she’s developing positive habits and patterns they can help her gain independence. She becomes more reliant on herself and her habits than on prompts and medicine. This is very encouraging for this mom.

So what does this have to do with organization tips? EVERYTHING. For her and for me. I have to remember to break things down for her, things that I take for granted. She has to experience consistency to counteract the sporadic signals going off in her head constantly. It doesn’t mean we have to have a robotic lifestyle. In fact, we don’t even set an alarm to wake us at the same time each morning. But we do have simple tasks that are consistent morning, after school and at bed time, and when she is given a chore it comes to her in stages and sections. I can’t just say “Go clean your room.” I have to say, “I need you to put all the dirty clothes in the laundry bag, and then put all your “x” in a pile.” A sure way to bring on a malfunction with massive meltdown is to expose an ADD child to an overwhelming amount of things or large task. It’s several times larger to them than it is for me because I can immediately break it down in my mind. Something as simple as covering all but one column of math problems on a sheet can make the difference between success and failure. The same thing works at home. She needs to feel she’s got help if a task is or appears really big. She has to know that there is a place for everything in her room and it needs to be the same. This is most successful when I involve her in the process. For example, she knows that all the dress up stuff goes in the plastic bin under her bed and all her purses go on a shelf in her closet. This is a good lesson for all of us because we all need to enlist the help of others and resources when we feel overwhelmed. And consistency pays off when you need to put your hands on those fingernail clippers or scissors. As for organizing, this skill of breaking down the elephant is crucial.

Additionally, important habits of study and hygiene, although totally basic, require special care and attention. She knows when she comes home she goes to the kitchen table (which needs to be free from clutter) and completes her homework. Again, she felt empowered in setting up this routine because she chose to make it her first order of business so she could have the rest of her afternoon for playdates and things she wants to do. Stress is eliminated by keeping the notebook on top of the fridge, sharpened pencils in the computer desk drawer and homework lists on the fridge with a magnetic clip - no surprises, no searching for supplies, no wondering where the spelling list got put. A little organization with pieces like this go a long way. She still needs occasional reminders about brushing teeth, but she knows it comes in conjunction with brushing her hair and that helps her remember it.

I also need to feel empowered setting up my own routines and patterns each day and it helps me a great deal if I know where things are all the time. I may need to set myself reminders (e-mails are great) or pair things together. As mom, the best help I can give is to keep things as clean and decluttered as possible, especially when she’s trying to work on something. This means I have to be organized, making time to get that table cleared off, etc. And you know what? I’m more productive too. I don’t feel stressed sitting down to blog or work on the computer when the dishes are done and family room is found. I don’t frantically go looking for keys when I’m supposed to be pulling out of the driveway because I know they’re on their hook.

Overview: find and secure consistent places for frequently used items needed for daily tasks, break things down - attack in steps, keep things tidy/uncluttered, and recognize resources and combinations that can help you succeed.

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