Okay, it’s been a few weeks since we did one of these but this one just seemed appropriate after last night. ;o) As always reading my husband’s version gave me a chuckle - hope it does for you too.

His perspective:

I grew up in a house with only brothers. I didn’t realize until much later in life that this actually lent to a significant limitation in my interpersonal communications. My basic communications between my brothers could be summed up in sentences consisting of four words or fewer, grunts and other bodily sounds, and well-timed punches and/or wedgies.

For example, praise is often expressed with a hand slap or a punch to the shoulder; anger is expressed by a low rumble or a punch to the shoulder; excitement is a smile or a punch to the shoulder and consolation is a nod or a punch to the shoulder.

When I got married, I learned that women often require a lot more words and almost always require a lot less punches to the shoulder. It has taken me a lot of years, and I certainly cannot claim to be an expert in male-female interpersonal communications, but I seem to have found a balance. It appears that I have learned to use words when needed – for example with my wife and my daughter, but I still enjoy the nearly wordless conversations with my brothers and my dad.

Apparently I still have a long way to go, though … I just read my wife’s perspective.

Her perspective (true to form with women needing to have the last word):

Last night I had a communication moment with my husband. I was telling him of a conversation I’d had earlier that day with someone and thanking him for helping me work on the same bad communication habit. With a curious face he asks what he said. I giggle to myself thinking how typical of the man to never remember words spoken and tell him it was one of his “gems” of wisdom. This translates to a completely tactless, but accurate point none the less.

I reminded him that he once told me that I tend to dominate conversation by always turning it back to me and my personal experiences. Ever since that time I’ve become very aware of when I choose to respond to someone with a share on myself trying to find the balance between relating to them and letting them know I’m listening without taking over and just talking at someone. His response not only cracked me up, it told me how much we’ve grown in our relationship.

He shook his head and said something like, “Man how do you stay married to me?” I started laughing and said that even though he may share such gems without tact he’s usually on target – even if it stings. And then I realized how great it is to have such an open and honest relationship with each other and how wonderful it is that we can laugh together about stuff like this.

Like the time I told him early in our marriage that he had to stop assuming responsibility for every emotional shift I had; which he may have adapted a little too well. Or the time he commented on my first writing project. He demolished me by simply saying I should stick to speaking because I couldn’t write. After I picked up the pieces and became objective he was right – the first version really stunk. LOL And we all know he made up for that one. *wink* And getting a nice compliment on my writing from an English major didn’t hurt this week either. LOL

If you can’t laugh at yourself and your relationship faux pas what have you got at the end of the day?

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