I sat down to write something yesterday at least three different times and each time “something suddenly came up” keeping me from the task. I swear sometimes trying to blog something can be just like being on the phone for this mom. See, when I’m on the phone,they just KNOW. It’s as if a little alarm goes off in my kids heads and they’ll discontinue whatever they were doing to come bug me, start fighting or cause other painful and difficult to deal with distractions while I’m talking. To their credit, I don’t think I can blame them for the blogging distractions yesterday, although this morning I can’t say I remember what those distractions were. ‘Sometimers’ disease is getting worse as I get older. Memory slips used to only happen when I’d get to a room and not be able to remember why I’d come there, having to retrace my steps to jog the memory. Sadly, the retracing doesn’t always work these days! So here I sit, unable to recall exactly what I was going to blog yesterday, but clearly remembering how many times I tried. That’s got be worth at least a “C” grade right?

If that’s not, me pulling my tired backside out of bed this morning is. I so don’t like getting up. This morning was worse because it was a late night - another downside of getting older is not bouncing back as quickly. I honestly can’t comprehend how I lived in college surviving gleefully on 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Even remembering the 2 years my son wouldn’t sleep make me nauseous. I guess you just do what you have to do. I’d still be in bed if I didn’t have to be up getting my daughter out the door for school.

And speaking of doing what you have to, last night my husband called to my attention the need to get a new measuring stick to track my progress on those things. A few months ago I was struck with a comment from one I greatly admire telling his listeners a great secret in life which some of us may have already learned. For those who haven’t he shared, “It’s never done.” No matter what you’re working and where you are in life, it’s never done. There can be stages of completion for specific tasks, but there will always be something to fill that space as soon as it happens. It struck me because for as long as I can remember I’ve functioned off the belief that when I just get that list in my head done, I’ll finally feel on top of things. I’ll have a new peace and live in a universe where I’m in command and control over things. No wonder I get frustrated right?

Well, with my husband’s help last night I realized that it’s more than that, it’s my measuring stick that’s out of whack. I tried to explain how I view things, especially big projects that sit and collect worry dust in the back of my mind as well as the daily to-do tasks that haunt me when they don’t get done to the level I’d hoped all the time. I’m happy I get the dishes out of the sink, but the floor’s mopping may get delayed several days at a time - stuff like that. He laughed and said I needed to replace my check box mentality with a gantt chart one. (Did I get that right?) I’ve never heard of the name gantt, although I’ve been exposed to plenty of project charting programs. At any rate, it was his pointing out to me how few things can get a check in the box like making a phone call, etc. that are actually on my list of things I need/want to do. And when I don’t see a check in my box at the end of the day I only see failure. He pointed out that with a gantt chart mentality I would at least give credit to the progress that is made each day. Then he kindly pointed out things that he appreciates so much - things that I probably don’t see as success at all anymore. One he noted that made me giggle was how much he appreciates knowing there’s always another tube of toothpaste or container of deodorant when he runs out. I do keep a simple stock of household necessities stored. He laughed telling me if it weren’t for me he’d be stinky all the time and his hair would like it did when he was in 5th grade. Both exaggerations, but they made me giggle none the less.

So this morning I decided to defy everything beginning with blogging being the first thing I’d do - even before checking my e-mail! And I may even lay down and watch cartoons with my 4 year old just for spite that morning isn’t victorious over my desire to lay down and relax. But mostly, I’m going to go learn more about gantt charts so I can work on my visual progression radar.

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