Comments on: Things Lost http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/ Make it a masterpiece. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:57:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Michelle http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10578 Michelle Thu, 29 Mar 2007 20:50:01 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10578 Ok I almost choked on my water when I read the comment by Daddy Forever. I totally agree with your post and these comments. I am a new parent, our daughter is going to be 2 in June and I'm trying to do what I can to make her one of the exceptions to teh rule these days too. Your kids sound like what I want her to be like, like my brother and I were raised too. My mom always got compliments on what good kids we were and I get those compliments on my daughter now pretty much everywhere we go and I hope to continue that as she grows up. I too know that I will prefer play dates at my house, she will NOT play in our front yard alone, even the fenced in backyard for that matter. I just have this nagging fear in the back of my mind of something bad happening to her and I'll do all I can to protect her. I also don't want to be so overprotected that I do more harm than good. Any pointers at this age? <em><strong>It sounds to me like you're well on your way. I was surprised how much fun I had just enjoying my kids as they grew. I thought I'd be all retentive about educational toys and activities and such but I found I never went down that road. I simply enjoyed watching them learn, grow and play on their own and snagging a ride on their coat tails. ;)</strong></em> Ok I almost choked on my water when I read the comment by Daddy Forever. I totally agree with your post and these comments. I am a new parent, our daughter is going to be 2 in June and I’m trying to do what I can to make her one of the exceptions to teh rule these days too. Your kids sound like what I want her to be like, like my brother and I were raised too. My mom always got compliments on what good kids we were and I get those compliments on my daughter now pretty much everywhere we go and I hope to continue that as she grows up. I too know that I will prefer play dates at my house, she will NOT play in our front yard alone, even the fenced in backyard for that matter. I just have this nagging fear in the back of my mind of something bad happening to her and I’ll do all I can to protect her. I also don’t want to be so overprotected that I do more harm than good. Any pointers at this age?

It sounds to me like you’re well on your way. I was surprised how much fun I had just enjoying my kids as they grew. I thought I’d be all retentive about educational toys and activities and such but I found I never went down that road. I simply enjoyed watching them learn, grow and play on their own and snagging a ride on their coat tails. ;)

]]> By: Daddy Forever http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10437 Daddy Forever Thu, 29 Mar 2007 03:35:39 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10437 I use to think I'm a half full kinda of guy, but since I'm become a dad, I've changed to half empty. I'm always worried about my kids. And like you, I prefer my kids have play dates at our house. I like my neighbors. They seem like good people, but I can't honestly say I feel comfortable with them watching my kids. One neighbor let their 6-year old son climb up to the roof of their 2-story house. Then the dad had to go down the ladder and he left the son alone on the roof by himself in the middle of winter. It just takes one little slip... <em><strong>Holy cow how scary! I know exactly what you mean about the times and reasons when your view changes.</strong></em> I use to think I’m a half full kinda of guy, but since I’m become a dad, I’ve changed to half empty. I’m always worried about my kids. And like you, I prefer my kids have play dates at our house. I like my neighbors. They seem like good people, but I can’t honestly say I feel comfortable with them watching my kids. One neighbor let their 6-year old son climb up to the roof of their 2-story house. Then the dad had to go down the ladder and he left the son alone on the roof by himself in the middle of winter. It just takes one little slip…

Holy cow how scary! I know exactly what you mean about the times and reasons when your view changes.

]]> By: Jade http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10410 Jade Wed, 28 Mar 2007 23:40:37 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10410 This was very well written and so true. Sometimes it's easy to forget how fast life goes by and not to take children for granted because they grow up so fast.. I always want to remember the little important things, I think that is why I scrapbook so I will never forget those special moments!! <em><strong>Your pages so beautifully show how much you care and love your kiddos Jade! They are gorgeous!</strong></em> This was very well written and so true. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how fast life goes by and not to take children for granted because they grow up so fast..

I always want to remember the little important things, I think that is why I scrapbook so I will never forget those special moments!!

Your pages so beautifully show how much you care and love your kiddos Jade! They are gorgeous!

]]> By: kailani http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10366 kailani Wed, 28 Mar 2007 18:20:07 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10366 Awesome post. It is sad how some parents get so caught up in their own lives that they forget about the little ones they're responsible for. They see their kids as an inconvenience rather than a blessing. <em><strong>Amazing isn't it? Yet it happens all too often.</strong></em> Awesome post. It is sad how some parents get so caught up in their own lives that they forget about the little ones they’re responsible for. They see their kids as an inconvenience rather than a blessing.

Amazing isn’t it? Yet it happens all too often.

]]> By: mom http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10351 mom Wed, 28 Mar 2007 15:22:08 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10351 Holly, your post speaks volumes!!! I have also encountered some insolent children and been extremely put off by their behavior. Be slow to judge, however. In some cases there may be mitigating circumstances other than neglectful parenting (family situations, emotional problems, behavior and mental disorders such as Asperger's syndrome or ADHD, metabolic disorders, etc.). I feel your pain, however! No matter what the situation, nothing can replace an invested parent who teaches their child/ren common courtesy and respect. <em><strong>It is so true, as a mom of an ADD daughter I know how easy it is for others to see things differently. What makes me the most sad though is parents who don't make the personal sacrifices to meet their kids needs, too many outsource help in that area where there really is no adequate substitute.</strong></em> Holly, your post speaks volumes!!! I have also encountered some insolent children and been extremely put off by their behavior. Be slow to judge, however. In some cases there may be mitigating circumstances other than neglectful parenting (family situations, emotional problems, behavior and mental disorders such as Asperger’s syndrome or ADHD, metabolic disorders, etc.). I feel your pain, however! No matter what the situation, nothing can replace an invested parent who teaches their child/ren common courtesy and respect.

It is so true, as a mom of an ADD daughter I know how easy it is for others to see things differently. What makes me the most sad though is parents who don’t make the personal sacrifices to meet their kids needs, too many outsource help in that area where there really is no adequate substitute.

]]> By: Pass the Torch http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10229 Pass the Torch Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:53:38 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10229 Amen, Holly. And Mary, I hear you too!! Man, I have an addictive, obsessive personality and I'm thinking I need to take a break after all the madness of the past couple of months and just BE. We're in the midst of making hugely important decisions in our family and this post really makes me worry about the society we may be choosing to drop ourselves into. We're pretty isolated where we are right now, and we don't have to interact with many kids like this -- because we don't interact with many kids. Those situations where we do are totally orchestrated, and I'm tired of having to be the conductor all the time. But I'm reminded of the fact that if we choose to live in a place with easy access -- to kids, to opportunity, to education, to socialization -- we get access to the good and the challenging. The research I've done lately (for my book) has really made me realize the importance of community and service, but I fear I will be overwhelmed with the number of youth that don't have anyone in their lives teaching them what seems so natural to my own kids - and to me. It's one thing to choose to work with these youth from a professional or service standpoint. It's another to involve my kids in this interaction. We have a lot to think about. Fantastic post. <em><strong>I'm amazed at the depth of personal perspective and reflection in these comments - you guys are giving me a lot to think about! Kelly, I know so well the scenario and trade offs your talking to! You are so conscious and aware though and you have great kids and I know you'll do what's right for all of you and set great examples as you do it. ;)</strong></em> Amen, Holly.

And Mary, I hear you too!! Man, I have an addictive, obsessive personality and I’m thinking I need to take a break after all the madness of the past couple of months and just BE.

We’re in the midst of making hugely important decisions in our family and this post really makes me worry about the society we may be choosing to drop ourselves into. We’re pretty isolated where we are right now, and we don’t have to interact with many kids like this — because we don’t interact with many kids. Those situations where we do are totally orchestrated, and I’m tired of having to be the conductor all the time.

But I’m reminded of the fact that if we choose to live in a place with easy access — to kids, to opportunity, to education, to socialization — we get access to the good and the challenging. The research I’ve done lately (for my book) has really made me realize the importance of community and service, but I fear I will be overwhelmed with the number of youth that don’t have anyone in their lives teaching them what seems so natural to my own kids - and to me. It’s one thing to choose to work with these youth from a professional or service standpoint. It’s another to involve my kids in this interaction.

We have a lot to think about.

Fantastic post.

I’m amazed at the depth of personal perspective and reflection in these comments - you guys are giving me a lot to think about! Kelly, I know so well the scenario and trade offs your talking to! You are so conscious and aware though and you have great kids and I know you’ll do what’s right for all of you and set great examples as you do it. ;)

]]> By: Mary (mert) http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10225 Mary (mert) Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:33:27 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10225 Yup, that's a tough one. I have had kids in my home and the parents go on a mental vacation and do nothing as their child completely rips apart my child's room. And be extremely picky about what is offered for snacks and food. On the other hand, I have had the same internal struggle with blogging. But it hasn't always been blogging, it could be computer games, TV, reading... whatever I become obsessed with that takes away from time with my kids, BUT usually because I obsess and have an addictive personality. I have been saying this last week- but actually it's been going on since my blog vacation- that I am trying to better balance RL and blogging. Some days are better than others, I am trying. I know my personal struggle isn't to the extreme as the examples you gave, because they are with me here at home. But still... there is something to be said about my thoughtlessness. You post drove home all the feelings that I had , but wasn't able or was too ashamed to admit. The question that I ask myself daily: At what cost? <em><strong>I know so well the personal struggle - it's that balance between doing what you want/need and what your kids want/need. Somedays I do good - other days not so much but I honestly think being aware is 99% of the battle!</strong></em> Yup, that’s a tough one. I have had kids in my home and the parents go on a mental vacation and do nothing as their child completely rips apart my child’s room. And be extremely picky about what is offered for snacks and food.

On the other hand, I have had the same internal struggle with blogging. But it hasn’t always been blogging, it could be computer games, TV, reading… whatever I become obsessed with that takes away from time with my kids, BUT usually because I obsess and have an addictive personality. I have been saying this last week- but actually it’s been going on since my blog vacation- that I am trying to better balance RL and blogging. Some days are better than others, I am trying.

I know my personal struggle isn’t to the extreme as the examples you gave, because they are with me here at home. But still… there is something to be said about my thoughtlessness. You post drove home all the feelings that I had , but wasn’t able or was too ashamed to admit.

The question that I ask myself daily: At what cost?

I know so well the personal struggle - it’s that balance between doing what you want/need and what your kids want/need. Somedays I do good - other days not so much but I honestly think being aware is 99% of the battle!

]]> By: Jen http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/comment-page-1/#comment-10210 Jen Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:08:48 +0000 http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/03/27/things-lost/#comment-10210 You are so right in your observations. Yesterday I was training in a section of the lab with a 20 something woman who has a 4 month baby. She will be working evenings, but has no day care set up yet since she just moved here and is only working days to train. Her baby is staying with her mother in law, which she doesn't like but this girl's husband told her to let the baby stay there a few more days so she won't be home on his birthday. I was like what????? Is this a child of convenience for you? But I kept quiet. There is a generation of clueless parents out there. At this point, I will be the village and we have my sons' friends over, I will speak up and tell them if they are out of line. Keep up the good work, there are other parents out there like yourself. Jen <em><strong>Thanks Jen, I know there are others who are concerned and that keeps the optimistic side of me going when I'm exposed to so much neglect! You keep up the great work too!</strong></em> You are so right in your observations. Yesterday I was training in a section of the lab with a 20 something woman who has a 4 month baby. She will be working evenings, but has no day care set up yet since she just moved here and is only working days to train. Her baby is staying with her mother in law, which she doesn’t like but this girl’s husband told her to let the baby stay there a few more days so she won’t be home on his birthday. I was like what????? Is this a child of convenience for you? But I kept quiet. There is a generation of clueless parents out there.

At this point, I will be the village and we have my sons’ friends over, I will speak up and tell them if they are out of line. Keep up the good work, there are other parents out there like yourself.

Jen

Thanks Jen, I know there are others who are concerned and that keeps the optimistic side of me going when I’m exposed to so much neglect! You keep up the great work too!

]]>