May 17, 2007

Life Is Good

Filed under: Blogging, Housework, Motherhood, Sharing, Success, TV Talk — holly.schwendiman @ 11:28 am

It’s time to take a moment and recognize/enjoy the good things at the present moment. This is something I’m learning to do more often. It’s so easy to wish your life away thinking “When……then I’ll be happy - or - get to that - or - take a moment.” The time to live, remember and enjoy is now. Tomorrow never comes because there’s always another tomorrow to procrastinate to. Experience has shown me that no matter how bad today seems for whatever reason, years later I’ll look back and wish I’d appreciated how good it was or seized the moment to do something with my kids. So today I’m enjoying:

Beautiful flowers from my wonderful hubby.

My poem being published - and being the FIRST one in the book!

Watching my son enjoy Zathura for the thousandth time and baking him cookies.

And last but not least, LOVING the fact that my sink is finally being installed.

Plus, tonight is The Office and the final showdown on American Idol includes my two favorites. My floors are clean and I still have time to blog. Life is good.

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May 16, 2007

To My Sweetheart

Filed under: Emotions, Inspiration, Marriage, Positive Impact, Potential, Relationships, Sharing, Success — holly.schwendiman @ 10:41 am

I can’t believe today marks the day we were married 15 years ago. What an amazing 15 years it has been. As I reflect on my relationship with you over the years, my mind is filled with memories and thoughts I hope I can share with you. There are also a few things that I’m not completely sure if I’ve ever told you.

First, I forgave you a long time ago for not remembering me in our first class together in high school. Not just because you were a mighty senior and I the lowly Sophomore but also because you took the time to find out who I was when I remembered you and thanked you by name for coming to that high school play I was in a year later. Moreover, once you found out who I was you called and asked me out on a date. I knew you had a special way with me from the first phone call that magically cured me from being sick (my mom gave me plenty of grief over that.) I was so delighted to finally get asked out on a date by someone that was “cool” in my eyes. And just so you know, you’re still the ultimate “cool” guy to me. (I hope you’ve forgiven me for insulting your orange camaro. *wink*)
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May 15, 2007

Wordless Wednesday - 15 Years Today

Filed under: Family, Inspiration, Marriage, Relationships, Sharing, Wordless Wednesday — holly.schwendiman @ 8:09 pm

[blenza_autolink ww]

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I Found It!

Filed under: Balance, Housework, Marriage, Organizing, Success — holly.schwendiman @ 8:36 am

Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t get as much done as I wanted (I never do) but some big things did get done. Like shampooing my family room carpet - blech!, having dinner ready by the time hubby got home (I even duplicated my best corn salsa), getting the dishes done and even swimming with my son. But the cherry on top was finding the long lost gameboy under my bed and the missing “Zathura” movie disk. My son got this movie last month and watched it several times before losing it. We looked everywhere with no success. Yesterday I noticed one of the small portable DVD players by my husband’s nightstand and thought to myself “I wonder” and sure enough there it was inside. My daughter’s gameboy has been missing for several months and she’s been praying that we could find it. Needless to say most everyone was happy yesterday!

One of the biggest lessons I’ve “found” of late is the recognition that balance doesn’t mean perfection or everything being finished. I’m amazed at how much better I feel as long as I’m getting a few of those back burner projects finished. They recharge the determination batteries just enough to keep you going and make you smile. Now whenever I feel like I’m going under I’ll tackle one or two things that have been pushed off for forever and find an amazing amount of balance restored.

Tomorrow is my 15th wedding anniversary. I’m not sure where the time went - that is definitely something I’ve still not found! It’s hard to wrap my brain around the concept. I still feel much the same way I did when I was 20 years younger, I wonder if that inner spirit ever catches up with the physical aging?

So what have you found this week?

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May 11, 2007

Little Things

Filed under: Adoption, Emotions, Inspiration, Motherhood, Positive Impact, Sharing — holly.schwendiman @ 2:06 pm

Every year Mother’s Day rolls around, I can’t help from remembering two experiences relating to the day and celebration of motherhood. They were both little things with BIG impact on my life. I’m sure they stick out in my memory because of my unique and arduous journey to motherhood. Mother’s Day is extremely painful for those who find the desire of motherhood just beyond their grasp. At times that pain seemed unbearable and the loneliness all consuming. But my rainbow was there, I just had to weather the storms. Now Mother’s Day fills my heart with joy over all the little things. They don’t replace the memories of hurt but they have certainly helped to displace them and restore balance in my life.

The first “little thing” fell on Mother’s Day. On this particular year I was proud of myself for making it through the church service without shedding a tear and without focusing on the things I didn’t have. Years of experience on this day had caused me to not want to even go to church on Mother’s Day. But this year I was needed by some of the sweet little children I worked with who were to sing for their mothers that day. So I went. I was so proud of them for the great job they’d done. I couldn’t help but think about the wonder of the word Mother and how many ways so many women share this gift with those around them regardless of personal circumstance. Maybe this was to be my role of mothering. So proud that I was focusing on the positives and not the negatives, I was ready to give myself a pat on the back. Little did I know the next hurdle was already on the horizon.
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May 10, 2007

Is That White Stuff?

Filed under: Blogging, Sharing, Travel — holly.schwendiman @ 7:04 am

I was blinking to make sure I was really seeing it. It was only one week ago and I had left AZ temps in the 80s and 90s, now I was in UT freezing and being attacked by a hail storm. It never ceases to amaze me how different weather can be just a few hundred, let alone thousand miles away.

My heart goes out to all those people who have experienced the extremes and devastation that accompany really terrible weather. I can’t even imagine the destruction that is still felt today from the aftermath of storms like Katrina or the tornado that just destroyed an entire community. I do believe I’ll take the palm tree weather that doesn’t come with earthquakes or hurricanes.

What’s the most extreme weather experience you were involved in?

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May 8, 2007

Wordless Wednesday - Welcome Home

Filed under: Emotions, Sharing — holly.schwendiman @ 6:15 pm

[blenza_autolink ww]

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Bitter Sweet

Filed under: Adoption, Emotions, Family, Inspiration, Motherhood, Perspectives, Positive Impact, Sharing — holly.schwendiman @ 8:20 am

Yesterday I had to take my four year old to the doctor. He was such a trooper. That visit is the worst because it’s full of all those vaccinations preparatory for Kindergarten and they’re big enough to know what’s going on. I have the worst memory of being near his age and asking my mom if my trip to the doctor would include a shot. I’m sure she knew an answer to the affirmative would result in world war three getting me there so she told me I wouldn’t. Maybe she didn’t really know herself but I’ll never forget going secure in the answer that I would not be getting a shot and then being assaulted with not just a shot but a booster in the backside. I’ve never done shots well, in fact aside from throwing up it’s the only other thing I fear/hate. But I definitely didn’t want my little guy to receive a double assault so after the fun part of the exam was over I told him that the nurses were going to come in and give him some medicine in the form of shots. He immediately sought refuge under my chair and in the little wooden bench saying repeatedly how he didn’t want any shots. He got five. *sniff*

The first one wasn’t so bad and you could see him trying to decide what was going on - a moment on shedding a possible tear came and went with no tears, but the double whammy on the legs brought on tears and the final two in the upper arms completely undid the little guy. Mom didn’t do so well either. It’s tough watching your little ones hurt searching your eyes for protection and security. We both agreed quite firmly that “shots are not fun at all” and we “never want to have any again, ever again!” When we left I asked him if he wanted anything to which he simply replied, “No, I jus wanna go home.” I’m glad home is a safe place for him.

I’m seeing the truth of what I’ve heard all my life that home should be a safe haven and how important the family unit is and will continue to be. The sweet part of yesterday’s experience was the journey to the doctor’s office. The discussion was on family, how he misses “all his families” and wants to see them. He started telling me how he wanted a baby “brudder” or “sister” complete with the instructions that I needed to get a baby in my tummy. He even told me I just need to “prackis” (practice) so I could get a baby in my tummy right now. *wink* This brought on the opportunity to talk about a lot of things the most important being whose tummy he did grow in. I told him this mommy’s always had a hard time getting babies in her tummy and that he didn’t actually grow in my tummy. Just as with his sister at about the same age the wonder of that hit the bulls-eye of intrigue. When I explained the concept of birthmother to him in this very personal way he replied how much he wanted to be with all his family and that “I miss my birfmom very much” with a very sad tone in his voice. He has such a tender little heart and he is all about family right now.

So we spent the evening talking together as a family about the concept of families and looking at scrapbooks. We talked about what makes us a family and what keeps us a family. We talked about what a REAL family is and how we are every bit a real family with real kids and a real mom and dad. It took some time to help my 4 year old understand that your family is always your family even if you don’t live in the same house together and that this element isn’t what creates a happily ever after ending. It also took some time to help his big sister understand what relinquishing parental rights means and how permanent it is and how equally powerful and binding the finalization of an adoption is. It is all time well spent.

I’m constantly amazed at the concept of progression. We learn in stages. My son is now where my daughter was 5 years ago and she’s now moved on to a new level of questions and understanding. Just as my son’s experience with the instant and immediate pain of getting shots, life tends to hold the same lessons. Sometimes the most protective and meaningful ones come with an immediate stab of pain. It’s hard, if not impossible to see the long term benefit of such trials and experiences that shape and mold us as we learn and grow. Once again I find myself in the student’s chair when it comes to being a mom.

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May 7, 2007

Your Life Is Harder

Filed under: Family, Funnies, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Perspectives, Relationships, Sharing — holly.schwendiman @ 1:24 pm

Well, I’m back. I left my family on Wednesday for a weekend getaway with my mom and sisters and returned home last night. We’ve never done anything like this before and all of us left at least one if not more children at home with their fathers. Roughly 20 hours (that would be just after lunch on his first day) into the loneliness of single parenthood I received a text message from my husband:

In case you can’t make out the words it reads: “Your life is harder than mine!”

My mom and sister got a serious chuckle out of the message when it arrived. A few hours later I called to check in with him to learn that he’d forgotten to pick the kids up from school. I couldn’t suppress the giggles as he explained how the school had called and told him his children were wondering if he was going to come get them. Today as I dropped off my son I told the teacher I’d heard that Thursday dad forgot to come get them and she started to giggle. She told me how odd it was as that had never happened before so she figured she’d just walk them to the front desk and call. She laughed all the way down to the classroom where she shared the story with a fellow employee. She told me her friend had made the comment that you never send a man to do a woman’s job.

I think my brother in law might agree. Visiting him that night as a dad going solo with his four children was the very picture of frazzled dad after some single parenting time. My mom giggled all the way back to our hotel and told me I should call Blake and tell him if he gets feeling too bad to call his younger brother. Blake didn’t get a day at the office like his brother but he also had two less kids - either way both dads experienced a little more “reality” parenting. There is no way to explain what full time mom at home means, but experience sure helps paint a better picture.

As I get back on top of things I may delve into this topic with a bit more depth, but for now I just had to share one of the world’s greatest text messages for a mom from her husband.

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May 2, 2007

It’s Time

Filed under: General — holly.schwendiman @ 10:20 am

I seem to have this common refrain lately and it’s all about time. Time going too fast, times and seasons, the burnout of anticipated changes in times, etc. Today I continue with what I hope will bring some closure to this for me. It’s time.

It’s time that I get off the computer and finish up the last things I need to do for my trip. It’s time to get away and rejuvenate the batteries. It’s time to spend a weekend with my sisters and mom and just have fun. It’s time.

I send my apologies now for the many blogs I’m behind on and that I’ll be even more behind on. But I look forward to returning next week with renewed vigor, energy and my blogg’n groove. For now I’m off to go live a little and restore some much needed balance. I hope everyone has a fantastic rest of the week and weekend.

 

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