We’ve been having a discussion at my house lately about the many ways we spend our time. My husband has been listening to a lot of audio books on his commute and he mentioned something that hit him hard about his most recent of how the man he was learning about didn’t waste a lot of time. The man was Andrew Carnegie, the richest man in the world. I would add possibly the most generous man too.

So we’ve been reviewing how we spend our time at my house. We’ve been pretty careful about TV consumption. My husband and I record a few of our favorite series and watch them after the kids have gone to bed. We learned when our daughter was not quite two that we quickly became bad parents with no patience and raised voices if we tried to watch something we wanted while she was awake and needing mom and dad. We’ve also monitored more of what comes into the home by recording shows for the kids to watch nearly eliminating live TV. Not only does this help us filter what comes in, it also helps us track the time spent. So on the level of what we watch and how, I feel great. But even with all this I can’t deny that we still spend a lot of free time watching TV. With new series beginning the fall we picked up Bionic Woman and Journeyman to our Heroes and Office line up. So we just doubled the time we’ll spend watching TV after the kids have gone to bed. And the TV is such a great babysitter for mom to get some work done that the kids spend far too much time in front of it. It’s not that what we’re doing with our time is bad…given the shows and time spent together you could even classify it as good. But it’s undeniably not the better or best use of our precious time.

So we’re contemplating shutting off the TV service. We’d still have movies and some of the kid’s shows on DVD so it wouldn’t be like removing TV entirely but it certainly would make a dent in our use of it.

My husband said something that struck me last night. He reminded me of our early days of trying to conceive and how we’d used the logic that we’d never want to look back and be able to say “what if” we had tried something. What if taking a simple pill would have resulted in a pregnancy? Could we live with that haunting unknown? Now we can look back with peace of mind, now we know. He used the same logic for our current discussion saying how much worse it will be if years down the road we look back and say “What if” we had spent more time doing “x” instead of watching TV. There will be a much greater ache if there are things that could have been achieved, morals that could have been strengthened, character that could have been defined and knowledge that could have been gained with a little more effort on our part to spend more time with meaningful activities and recreation. Although I might initially miss the characters and story lines of some of my favorite shows, they won’t miss me. In fact, they won’t even notice my absence. Isn’t that saying something?

I don’t want to look back on my life and see a lot of good decisions but multiple missed opportunities because they weren’t the better or best decisions. Your thoughts?

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Family Positive Impact Potential Balance TV Talk

My mom just sent me an e-mail that’s floating around for this month’s Breast Cancer Awareness. It includes the article written by Erma Bombeck after she found out she was dying from cancer:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn! With my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s”; more “I’m sorry’s.”
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it. live it and never give it back.

Now this hits me with impact, because in the late summer of 2001 I had my own battle for life with an unknown illness that was robbing me of my physical abilities as well as surrounding me in uncertainty that I had another day. Only someone who has danced with the uncertainty of life can truly appreciate what it does for your perspective. And you find yourself determined to share what you’ve learned with those around you. This was what I shared in a church meeting in front of friends, family and my ward family who all played such integral parts in my endurance and recovery.

Things I have learned or re-learned during this illness:

Every day is a precious gift - a gift to be treated with respect and gratitude.
Balance is essential. Take time to reflect OFTEN on the many good things and memories in your life. Recognize the Lord’s hand and love in every day blessings.
Talk with your Father in Heaven and your Savior. Love them and let them love you.
Love and cherish your companion. Make certain that they know how much you love them.
Love and cherish your children and family.
Cultivate and nourish relationships with neighbors, friends and family.
We are all on borrowed time – we mustn’t waste it. We should love, serve, strengthen and build one another. Don’t waste a single minute of this precious time nor any energy on feelings of offense, unkindness or animosity one to another.
No one knows what tomorrow will bring – make the most of today.
Life is good.

So you can see why Erma’s list stirred up some memories of my own. Having lost so many loved ones to the fight of cancer and other diseases, knowing that so many of my friends and loved ones battle every day for the fight to not sweat the small stuff and remembering my own struggles, I couldn’t not share this today. I hope it stirs some positive feelings and encouragement for all who may read it.

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Family Sharing Positive Impact Inspiration Balance Deep Thoughts

I’m finding myself falling back into reading. In the past I was always the type of person who would pick a book once in a while. I now find myself always on the look out for a good book to read. When we moved into our new home a friend invited me to a book club. She told me I’d fit right in and she was right. It’s been a year now and I’ve loved the exposure to reading and discussing books that I probably would never have picked out or read on my own. It’s fed a new appetite for reading.

This month the book Twilight was chosen with special attention to the month of October and Halloween. I’d heard about this book a while ago and have been intrigued, I’ve even read some basic discussions on the book from others who have read it. I’d planned to get around to it but it wasn’t until it came up as this month’s book that I actually got that done. I got all three books at the same time as the warning was made clear at the last book club meeting that discussion would likely include all three books. I began reading Friday and I finished the last book yesterday (the shortest book is 500 pages.) The push wasn’t because I had to get through them, it was that I really couldn’t wait to get through them. Except today I find myself disappointed that there’s not something fun to look forward to. *giggle*

I think the author hits a chord with most females on the planet. She invokes deep feelings, emotions and arouses the sexual nature of women in a way that I think most wish men would. *laugh* Further, I found myself with many stirred up memories of men I’ve known in my past comparing them to the qualities and characteristics of her characters, wondering what would have happened if I had made different decisions, etc. I also stole a few thoughts about enhancing my own marriage relationship to find the same magic I’d just read about. I think the mark of any great book is when your left with many thoughts and emotions long after you close the cover.

I made my husband read the book just to see if my theory of the male/female reaction to the writing would be as different as I expected it would be. Suffice it to say it was. The “erotic tension” her editor and publisher describe was not at all the same for my husband as it was for me. It wasn’t without any merit, just not the same. Men should be taking notes and women should be filling their personal fulfillment reservoirs by reading her books. *snort* And the crazy part about saying that is that it’s so simple and clean that it almost seems an oxymoron to even write anything like that. Seriously though, she involved all the necessary ingredients for success - forbidden love, suspense, self doubt, triumph and so much more. It was a fun series to read and one I have no problem recommending to others.

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Emotions Relationships Blogging Reading

Okay, normally I’d be putting up a Wordless Wednesday picture and making the rounds today, but as I’ve put off blogging for the last 5 days to finish a book series (you should read the Twilight series if you haven’t already…especially if your a woman!) so today I wanted to dig right into catching up and conversing.

I was just driving home from taking my son to school and I heard such a funny song that I started laughing out loud in my car. I was flipping stations, in an effort to avoid talking and commercials, when I heard this country song describing an adult male living at home, 5′3″, overweight who starts to describing himself “online.” I busted up at the picture in my head of the same guy on My Space who was 6′5″, 6 pack abs, rich, and the catch phrase of “I’m so much better online.” I don’t know if Brad Paisley wrote the song or just sings it but the author should get a 5 star comedy rating for the lyrics.

It got me thinking about my recent push to make my blog more reflective of who I am and how easy it is to use technology today to boost your confidence. Sometimes the boosts are real and other times they’re not like the song, but either way there’s a power there. The first time I had a professional writer tell me that I was a great writer I flushed with the compliment. I enjoy sharing things, I always have but I never thought of myself as a good writer before that comment and it really boosted my confidence. Then I got a great review for a poem I submitted to an online poem organization and the response to publish it was so positive that it boosted me too. Neither of these things would have happened without the power of the Internet. Okay, maybe that’s too extreme to know but I do know that I wouldn’t have been beating down doors pursuing a writing career so it’s unlikely I would ever have received feedback about things I’d written.

My husband jokes with me that I must have taken some communication or speaking classes in my former life. He says I’ve missed my calling as a public speaker. I’m not sure about that but I do love to talk! Sharing and presenting is a bonus for me. But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t received some warm feedback from many people in many places when I’ve shared my thoughts in text. It’s part of the reason he pushed me so hard to start blogging I think. He seemed to think people might actually read or even care about things I might have to say or share. I thought he was nuts but then I come across fun surprises like this:

“I’ve a passion for Books and keep looking for good articles. Today, I checked if I could find more info by entering ‘health parenting’ in Google and found this:”

The result is some text from one of my articles. I was a bit dumbfounded. I don’t know who the author of the blog is but to say it was a boost to have someone stumble across something I’d written with this description is an understatement. I mean, someone was actually out looking for something good, found something I wrote and is now asking for feedback/discussion on it. That was cool. No, that IS cool.

Here’s to things better online. *grin*

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Sharing Inspiration Success Blogging Intellectual

It’s hard for me to believe that fall is already here and not just because I live in a place where the weather doesn’t make it obvious. There are so many days when I feel like the starting of this year just began and yet here it is only months from ending. It’s almost weird to me and I can’t describe it.

I’ve had my nose in some books this weekend and haven’t gotten much else done. *laugh* Reading goes in spurts for me but when I find a good book or series I just can’t stop. I’m into the third of Stephenie Meyer’s series right now. I started her first in this series on Friday and I’ll probably finish this last one up late tonight or tomorrow. I’m hoping it will be tomorrow as I need to be more disciplined about not staying up late to read. It’s funny the feelings and memories that books and stories can pull out of you. I’ve really enjoyed her writing and look forward to more books coming out. I don’t know if men will enjoy her books as much as women but I’m sure they’ll be glad for their women reading it. *wink* She’s excellent at stirring romantic feelings!

I broke down and bought a pumpkin carving book with tools on Saturday but so far that’s it for Halloween stuff. It still doesn’t seem like it should be that time of year yet and I know that on its heels comes Thanksgiving and Christmas. It makes my head spin. My kids have been in school long enough for the first quarter to end and fall break to be around the corner.

I can’t help but think about this time of year and compare it to seasons of life - a time of change, a time in-between in so many ways. Fall is neither warm nor cold it’s right in the middle. Sometimes I feel that’s where I am in my life right now - right in the middle. I’m not in the throngs of babies and young motherhood, nor am I an empty nester I’m simply in the middle. Not that middle is bad, especially for one who broods over balance as much as me! *snicker* It’s just a weird feeling to have. I don’t feel any different than I did nearly 20 years ago although signs around me tell me that much time has truly passed. I wonder if you ever age internally? At any rate, sometimes I feel like I’m on the edge of changes coming down the pike. Now if I could just sneak a peek at what those changes are…

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Perspectives Motherhood Blogging