Get it right. Don’t leave yourself standing on a rug that begs to be pulled out from under you. This goes for more than writing, it goes for everything in life. Do your homework, make sure you know what you need to know before you stand on a soap box or any other form to state your case and opinions. It’s just good sense and it doesn’t matter how big or how small your audience or your reach is.

I’ve always been perhaps a little overzealous in my personal life to make darn sure I’ve covered all my bases before I start running. My boss once even told me to remind him never to get on his bad side or cross my path after observing my work for a year. He also told me that he had no problem seeing why I rose so quickly from secretary to regional administrator. It was a nice compliment, especially given that I was not yet 25 years old when I got it.

So where does it all start? Well, I can tell you I wasn’t born with it and I wasn’t handed these traits on a platter. I had to work hard, maybe even harder to gain respect in my job because I was so young. I know some of what I write about on this because I live it every day, I’m not perfect at it but I continue to nurture it every day. My husband has dealt with a lot of the aftermath of me being overly analytical sometimes and worrying about those things. I told you I haven’t perfected it, but I can tell you it’s very strong in me. I can tell you that it involves a great deal of thinking things through from every side, angle and perspective possible. It involves keeping a level head, taking time to set aside initial emotions and reactive thoughts. And it’s what makes me crazy when I see others spout off in various forms without a care or thought about whether what they’re writing or sharing has any foundation or if it’s just reactive vomit that negatively affects others. The recent garbage floating around with political mud slinging, polygamist sects and religious slandering makes me cringe. There’s no point to spreading the muddy water around and you can’t get into the mud without getting some on you. Yet time and again people everywhere jump in never realizing most of it is unfounded, false, taken out of context or exaggerated to gain attention. But it was ever thus.

In two of my favorite classics, “The Count of Monte Cristo” and “Les Miserables” you are introduced to two powerful characters who pride themselves in being servants of the hands of justice, upright and just men. In The Count you meet the unfortunate Villefort, and in Les Mis you meet the also unfortunate Javert. Their ultimate undoing is the unveiling of hypocrisy. For Villefort he realizes in his most desperate moment what a hypocrite he has been most of his life and he goes crazy with the realization and aftermath of his actions. For Javert, the battle is free from personal hypocrisy but he commits suicide when he realizes that to uphold his beloved law would be immoral. Both were extremists, not unlike many people today. It’s the very reason I bring them up. Today’s Villeforts and Javerts run around under the same cloak of blind following. And at the end of the day a blind follower is left with little more than anger and vindictive venom when they realize their pursuits have been vain. They strike at anything and everything, most especially at anything resembling the origins for their initial beliefs or thoughts. In short, they leave themselves standing on a rug which begs to be yanked out from under them.

So I line up my ducks - to a fault sometimes, I admit - before I do anything else. And I really wish others would do the same. Today’s world offers so much to so many. Technology and the Internet make it possible fore every person to be “published” and to read more content on every subject imaginable than one could hope to have time to sift through. Yet, in general we are still married to the idea that if it is in print it must be true. Therefore, misinformation, scams, hoaxes and more continue to run a muck as the muddy streams trickle from source to source. Few if any make the arduous trip up the mountain to the source to learn for themselves what is truth. It is only those who do that find true conviction and peace in their beliefs and knowledge. It’s also why the world is so full of angry people I think.

So I end with where I began. If you’re going to share or write (especially commit it to text) get it right. Follow the first rule of authors everywhere: Only write what you know. Do you’re homework, go to the source, find out for yourself. Enough of all this muddy water.

Technorati Tags:
Emotions Perspectives Blogging Intellectual

Just couldn’t keep from sharing these two crazy happenings of late. The first was that my daughter reported yesterday not getting to go outside for recess. Why you ask? High pollution she responded. Now, I remember missing recess and even school because of extreme weather but never pollution. And yesterday was no different for me being outside than any other, in fact I was with my son all morning and we had a fire drill that took his entire school outside, recesses were normal there. I don’t get it. But I snapped this photo this afternoon when I noticed the thick haze on the horizon and it reminded me of all this. If you look hard you can just make out the line of the Superstition Mountains through the smog.

And remember that volunteer palm my husband cut off last Saturday? The one that we speculated had the middle popping up because the outside was drying faster but really had no idea? Well check this out from today:

Apparently it wasn’t about drying at all! And for reference this was what it looked like almost a week ago:

Apparently palms are much hardier than we thought and sawing the entire tree off doesn’t kill them - or at least not this one!

Crazy stuff.

Technorati Tags:
Blogging

This afternoon we picked up a second monitor for the third computer. Yes, three computers and he works on all of them - every day. It also explains why he was so excited with his newest find: a program that makes one mouse and keyboard work for all his networked computers. That is cool. Just before I took this picture I told him it looked like it might be time for a bigger workstation and he just smiled and replied, “I don’t see a problem.”

I had to share the picture here because it shows more than just the volume of hardware sitting on his daily workspace. It’s a literal representation of how much he’s always got going on in his programming mind and the number of projects he’s always thinking about. However, I’m definitely not suggesting a bigger head to accommodate that. *wink*

Technorati Tags:
Sharing Blogging

So many things are calling for my attention this morning but my mind is likely to explode if I don’t find a way to get some of these thoughts and memories out. So the laundry, dishes and vacuuming will have to wait while I attempt to organize and store these thoughts here on my blog - my personal pensieve.

The memory mumble in my head has been building for a while now. The culprits for the growth include: 1) watching my daughter and remembering life at her age, 2) being in touch with old classmates, 3) reading. All three seem to have recently collided in the same space of my mind.

My daughter is 10 this year. She reminds me frequently that she’s really almost 10 1/2 because she’ll be 11 this fall. What she doesn’t know is that I need no reminding. Nor does she comprehend how well I understand her feelings of wanting so much to hasten growth not to mention the emotions of girl troubles and boy crushes. But I do remember and watching her experience it is like reliving some of my past on a regular basis, which until recently I’ve completely underestimated the power of. This is intertwined with viewing photos yesterday of some old classmates at my last high school reunion that I didn’t make it too. I saw a picture of one of my best friends when I was her age and it brought back a flood of memories. Then last night as I was reading, I was struck with the harsh reality of how many things we do in our lives because of influence or peer pressure and how that impacts our lives, the lives of others and the memories we lock away.

Lock is an intentional verb in the concept of storing memories. You see I’ve recently come to the realization of how I’ve locked in so many memories, expectations and criteria based on association and timing. Sadly, many of those were done automatically when I was the least capable in my life of looking beyond myself - namely, high school. As I looked through pictures of classmates from a few years ago I found myself thinking terrible things like, “wow, they sure got fat”, or “woof, time has not been friendly to them”, or even “they look as mean and stuck up as they ever were.” These aren’t the things I think when I meet people every day now, I don’t hold them to this standard. And then I thought on how I was being so harsh in my judgments and expectations simply because of association. The fact is, I knew these people when they were teens. The fact is, teens are self-centered and egotistical and often down right unkind. The fact is, teen bodies haven’t been impacted with age. I didn’t think I was a terrible teen, I still don’t. But I concede that I was totally wrapped up in myself, my own fears, anxieties, self conscious worries, etc. Heck, I never wore a short sleeved shirt to school or shorts because I was so sure everyone would notice my horrifically bony elbows and knees. It never even occurred to me that they wouldn’t notice my imperfections because they were so focused on their own. And I certainly never thought on the physical state of maturity and age, I just took for granted that my body would always be the same and therefore only focused on the things I didn’t like about it. This is where hindsight becomes so valuable and we’re back to that reality of not truly appreciating what you had until you no longer have it principle.

What really got me into a muddled mess was thinking about never giving these classmates a chance. I locked in my memories of them at their best or worst and that’s where they live in my mind. It’s why I’m so shocked when I find out how many kids some of them have or how nice they are now that they’re adults and I’d be equally shocked to learn anything negative about my personal heroes and the few I put on pedestals. I’m ashamed to admit it, but to this day there are two girls whose names make me cringe when I first hear them. It was a silly thing that happened clear back in 7th grade when they made fun of me for not having any boobs when I refused to give them my math answers. But it made its mark on me because it hit on the area of physical bodies and so many insecurities I battled with every day being so skinny and nothing but a straight highway. I’m sure neither one remembers it and I’d guess that both would feel terrible today to know how much it devastated me. And that’s the point. Kids are mean. Sometimes they’re just stupid and do and say things without thinking. Most of the time they do or say mean things just to impress someone they’re with because they want so much to be accepted and feel important. This peer pressure makes kids do things they wouldn’t do on their own and often things that are uncharacteristic. This describes the scene I read last night in my book and it made me really think hard on my own locked memories. Moreover I wonder how many people have locked memories of me doing or saying something that was hurtful to them that I’m not even aware of? And wouldn’t I like the chance to be redeemed or make things right?

I’m not sure if this post is really going anywhere or not. I just know I have a lot of thoughts and feelings regarding the many memories in my head right now. As my husband’s 20 year reunion comes up this summer I see and hear so many shallow things regarding these locked memories. Some are so bitter that they have nothing but complaints and unkind things to say. Others purposely attempt to live in those days past because they were the height of their glory days. All I know is that I’ve grown SO much as a person since my school days and the person I am now is the one I’d like my classmates to know, not the growing, insecure teen I was. That means I have to look at each of them with different eyes too. So why is association memory so difficult?

I’ve definitely identified some things I need to work on, namely my own lock box of memories. Maybe it’s time for me to find a key and allow those babies to move around a bit, rub up against some new memories in my mind. Perhaps I’ll start unlocking those trapped memories here in some more posts on specific memories; try to view them in a new and different light. It’s funny what you choose to remember and how when you start thinking on those things other memories find a way of spilling out. It’s part of who we are - a natural process. But if I want to keep growing as a person I think I need to air out some of these memories. Besides that, they’re not all bad. In fact, I’m sure I’ll be surprised at how many good ones are hidden under the locked ones. Hmmmmm that’s something to think about.

Technorati Tags:
School Sharing Emotions Relationships Parenthood Blogging Reading Deep Thoughts

Who knew how far $3.32 would go to buying hours of fun and smiles? This is like that super duper crayon pack with the built in sharpener I always longed for in elementary school. I look forward to great shares of mystical artwork on the driveway.

Kind of makes you want to be a kid again doesn’t it?

Technorati Tags:
Family Sharing Motherhood

[blenza_autolink ww]

Technorati Tags:
Wordless Wednesday

We had a busy weekend at my house. We spent most of Saturday in the yard. It was time to harvest the winter garden and replant, and the palm trees were ready for another trim too. I wanted to share pictures, but by the time we were in it I was far too muddy and messy to grab the camera let alone use it. But I have some before and after shots of some garden spots:

The three rows of produce you can see in the first photo included carrots, spinach and green onions. The half row of green onion filled two gallon bags when cleaned and cut. While I’m sure I’ll never get through them all, I’m sure some neighbors will be happy to receive some spoils. *wink* The spinach was wonderful to enjoy fresh while it lasted and these two rows of carrots gave us 6 gallons of work to pull, top, peel and slice. I couldn’t have done it without the family’s help. My son (who is still calling days ‘weeks’) exclaimed happily while we were washing and topping the pile, “This is a GREAT week!” Which translated, roughly means “I’m having a great time today!” I had to agree as to me there is nothing better than spending quality time working or playing together as a family. There is still the final phase of storage waiting for me with the carrots, but the hard part is done.

My little garden spot is finally getting to the point where something can grow in this harsh Arizona ground. It’s a lot of work! And it gives me greater appreciation for my pioneer ancestors who had to put so much into the development of land to grow things and become productive. Within a few more plantings I expect things will be almost right as roots continue to break up the hard soil underneath and I continue to feed the top soil with needed nutrients and fertilizer. But work is good and I’m grateful for the lessons it’s helping me teach my family.

Blake toiled long and hard with a volunteer palm that decided to take root right next to the corner of the house. It was growing so quickly that we had to cut it down. Hats off to him doing it the old fashioned way with nothing more than a handsaw. That was hard work! The middle section has popped up in the past couple of days which we’re speculating may be because the outside is drying so much faster but we really have no idea.

And here’s the last of the pictures I have to share of my small flower bed behind the house. The pictures are only about 4 weeks or so apart. I love this time of year when so much is in bloom here and so pretty to look at.

Technorati Tags:
Family Gardening Homemaker Motherhood Success Blogging

Several months ago I posted about my friend and her daughter who were contestants on NBC’s The Biggest Loser.

Today I checked out their website and was so excited to see that Ali did it! She is the first female to win the competition and she looks AWESOME!

Technorati Tags:
Sharing Positive Impact Inspiration Success Blogging

I just got a surprise phone call on my cell phone. It was from Beth Whitehouse, a columnist for Newsday.com. She explained that she was doing a piece on explaining adoption to children who aren’t adopted. I was happy to answer questions, although I felt like a bumbling idiot on the phone. I put my thoughts down in writing so much better in situations like that.

At any rate, I hung up and went to Google what I’d remembered or thought I’d heard to see if I could find her. Sure enough it came right up and a quick e-mail asking if she’d just talked to me about the piece warranted an almost immediate response in the affirmative. Then I was bold enough to send one more unsolicited e-mail sharing the most important thought I’d had about explaining adoption. She may think I’m a crazy now but I feel better about getting a p.s. in. Did I mention that I love Google and the power of the Internet? *smile*

I’m still fuzzy on the source of her finding me but if I get it cleared up I’ll let you know. It’s always nice to be found.

[blenza_autolink ww]

Technorati Tags:
Wordless Wednesday