To those who know me, it is no surprise that I’m counting down to Friday this week to see Wolverine, and not just because I really enjoy X-Men and the Wolverine character but also because of the actor playing him, Hugh Jackman. So this morning when I was browsing news headlines and saw one of the rave reviews of the new movie, I had to read more. The article dubbed him “sexy beast” and gave him credit for the amazing success of the movie. I saw a video/interview clip on the news page and clicked on it. Here I listened to Hugh answer questions about his physique and the recent title of “sexiest man alive” and all the reasons why I enjoy watching him most came to surface. In short, Hugh re-defined the meaning of being defined and at the heart of his message was how important knowing who you are inside matters most. Few actors can live up to the words, but to me Hugh is an exception. His self-confidence is securely founded in his comfort of knowing and liking who he is as a person. It’s what separates him from many of his peers and it’s what you see that is so charming in the way he handles all the attention, not to mention balance it with his personal family life of husband and father. Everything about him screams comfort with who he is, what he does and the way he shares his talents.

At any rate, as I listened to him describe his definition of value and interest in a person I had to reflect on the simple message and truth of it. One of my favorite quotes was one I heard years ago from Thomas S. Monson and says:

“In decision making, ask not “What will others think?” but rather “What will I think of myself?…”

When everything is swept away, what you think of yourself remains. You can’t escape it, it’s something you must live with every day of your life. When you don’t like who you are misery is sure to abound. When you do, peace and happiness flourish. Many attempt to substitute immediate pleasure for this desired happiness, but they will forever fall short because there are no shortcuts. When decisions are made for the benefit of others, the foundation for personal happiness is eroded and a frenzied focus on self and the appearance of that self results. There is no time for thinking of others, only of self and the constant danger of a facade being unmasked. I can think of no better definition of misery.

Now, I just need to master that question before I make the decision to give into the whim for junk food! Baby steps. *wink*

I’m not sure what I did for entertainment before my kids. I didn’t think there would be a drama bug that could rival his sister, but Taylor continues to give her a run for her money. Neither of my kids can just tell you something, they have to show you through extreme facial expressions, reenactments and voice inflections. Singing is a regular pass-time at my house for both. Cidnie starts every day with a strong voice, which typically insights some displeased comments and requests to stop from her brother. This pattern is repeated after school in reverse. While they both have their preferences for types and styles, they also both know each others well. Case in point, Taylor fell asleep in the early evening on Wednesday this week (the afternoon swim wore him out), when he woke in that groggy state on the couch he immediately started singing along with the words to the High School Musical 3 song playing on the TV at the time. We all busted up.

Now, Blake is a big culprit for helping feed the words and sayings that his kids might say incorrectly. He’s also recently been educating Taylor on the finer points of movies he missed out in the early 80’s like Flash Gordon paying special interest to the music. Stellar times for mom. Well, when Iron Man came out in movie theaters, the theme song became a regular at my house for a while. Its influence carried over into Halloween as Tay dressed up like him. However, when Taylor was learning the song he always added an “r” in the do-do phrases. Blake was happy to help feed this, so now when we all sing it we throw in a hick “rrrrr” so it comes out dur,dur,dur,dur….instead of do,do,do,do…

Last week Taylor came home with this:

There’s no question who it is or what song, complete with hick “r” is represented.

Two and a half years ago we decided to cut TV out of our home life. There was a little trepidation and a great deal of uncertainty at the time. Further, right up to that point I would have been the first one to get in your face and tell you how little TV we watched and how much we controlled it with our DVR/Tivo. At any rate we decided to pull the plug to all local, cable and satellite broadcasting.

There have been several surprises as a result. I hadn’t realized how much worldly influence penetrates our homes through that TV. It’s so gradual and sneaky that only when it was completely cut off did we see it. I was pleasantly surprised Blake and I never missed it, we’d expected the break to be difficult. The kids struggled for the first couple of weeks. Today they are so good about balancing their free time with activities beyond the TV screen and I don’t hear anymore about all the things they just have to have from all the commercials. They still enjoy so much of what TV has to offer, but now it’s more controlled and less immediate. In short, we got so many more positives than we were expecting that I still reel from the knowledge that it’s all spun from a single decision.

Today I’m thinking on how much my new remotes have given me by way of control and enjoyment and how glad I am that I switched to them. Two primary ones come to mind. The first is Netflix. The second is my computer. We set up our Netflix with three users, Blake and I share one queue, Cidnie has her own and so does Taylor. The fun part about Netfix is that the kids feel a sense of control about what they want to watch. In a very real way, this has replaced their TV remote. The queues can be updated any time and there’s no limit to how many DVDs you can put there and there are parental controls for ratings/content. The movies come to you via mail and you simply return them the same way, there’s no late fees or time constraints; you get your new movie when you return your previous one. We can all enjoy these on our big screen and in the comfort of our living room. We’re simply controlling both the show content and eliminating all the commercials. Recently, I’ve been showing the kids how to add TV series into their queues. These are fun because there will be several episodes per disc and fun for me too because we get a lot of old TV shows. Last night we watched the pilot episode of Fantasy Island and they loved it. I laughed when I put together how much Hugh Jackman looks like a young Bill Bixby. No wonder I loved the Incredible Hulk as a girl! *swoon* Back to the point, another major positive for me is not being responsible for housing and storing all the discs. I truly hate this element of owning movies and DVDs. When I’m not putting back the hundreds of movies the kids have displaced looking for one, I’m cursing how many have been so scratched that they don’t play right if at all. It makes me cranky.

Here’s where my second new remote device comes into play. My iMac is amazing with graphics and all I need with it is a good internet connection. I have two options with my computer. First, I can watch TV programs online for free through sites like hulu.com. Second, I can use iTunes to organize my purchased content. The online TV has limited commercial interruption and while the new shows have great graphic quality the old ones are pretty rough. I should add that Netflix is now adding this feature in increments to their site so you can watch some content online. iTunes fixes the quality and commercial issue but adds the need to download and store the content. However, I’m confident it’s only a matter of time before someone will figure out how to merge all the benefits into one tool for consumers. One of the great benefits of this era is enjoying so much control over so many options. I’m no longer at the mercy of a big broadcasting company. I’m also no longer forced into ownership as the only option to enjoy programs I may want to see again but not enough to justify owning it.

I’ve found that the only thing we lost when we cut the TV out of our home was all the unwanted and “filler” tripe. However, what we’ve gained defies measure. I truly believe in today’s world more and more parents will have to make some tough and big decisions to help fortify their homes and moral influence on their children. I’m so glad we made this one when we did. I can’t get back the wasted time spent in the years before we cut the cord, but I can make the most of now and that’s worth a lot.

P.S. I just checked out Netflix and see they have a new $99 device that does exactly what I just described. I knew it was just a matter of time.

As I posted an article recently about the need for more education and manners with technology, this video find was too priceless not to share.

I read a funny saying this morning of how life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end the faster it goes. I giggled, thinking almost immediately about how fast the end of that roll really does go.

See, these are the types of things that are witty because everyone can nod their head due to personal experience. It’s the “funny ’cause it’s true” element. I always wish I could come up with stuff like this. You’d think it would be easy given the great abundance of general, funny things the masses will experience/relate to, yet I always come up empty headed. I think there’s a specific brain cell I’m lacking in.

So as I can’t come up with an original one, I started thinking of adaptations to this one:

Problems are like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end the faster it goes.
Lies are like a roll of toilet paper, the…
Dessert is like a roll of toilet paper…
Sanity is like a roll of toilet paper…

And then I thought about things that work in reverse like laundry. Ever notice how no matter how much you do or how close you get to the end, it slows down? How about poison hour - that witching hour that you know you have to make it through to get to some relief? How come these things can’t be like toilet paper?

The technology bursts in the past decade make my head swim. Cell phones still make phone calls but it’s no longer the primary function or purpose of owning one, computers still use desktop software but the primary function has shifted to online activities. In fact, if you own a computer but don’t have an internet connection some would argue it’s like not having a computer at all. These are just a few examples of big boom changes but I’m sure you can come up with several others. The point is technology keeps growing.

This is great, but it’s also problematic. The ultimate question in my mind is can the learning curve keep up with the growth? Moreover, who is responsible for that learning curve?

Case in point, several years ago I was hired by the Albertson’s Foundation to teach some classes. Their program was called ‘Teaching with Technology’ and it existed for the very problem mentioned. The foundation had donated millions of dollars worth of computer labs in several high schools state wide. However, there was a big gap in the learning curve for educators knowing how to use those new tools, let alone teach them to students. So they began a program to fill that gap, which I thought was noteworthy and wonderful because they could have just shrugged and walked away saying they’d provided the tools and now it was the school’s jobs to figure out how to make use of them. They had provided the growth and they also provided solutions on the learning curve. In short, they addressed both questions I stated above.

Switch to today and I see both questions unresolved, in fact not even addressed. Today it’s not a donation of expensive equipment and software to a select few, it’s essentially a donation of new socializing tools to the masses. I say donation because these new technologies are generally available for free to the public, paid for by advertisers. They carry names like Facebook, MySpace, Blogging, Google/Yahoo Groups, and a million more; technology that impacts daily social interaction and one’s ability to function in society and the work place. There’s no responsibility in providing the new tools, it is exactly a shrug of the shoulders with an attitude that they simply provide - it’s someone else’s job to use, teach, etc. The primary consideration is making money or a name for themselves. Consequently, every day I’m online I see more and more stupid things without regulation that will cause long term consequences. Here are a few of my concerns:

1) Conversational and social interaction skills are being replaced with texting and other artificial means.

2) Publishing has become so easy it requires no thought or common sense.

3) Reality is becoming blurred.

True story: two teens are seen sitting in a room without a word spoken, yet both are holding phones and their fingers are moving wildly over them. When asked who they’re talking to they reply “each other.” You’ll see someone reach for a phone while waiting in line long before you’ll see them smile at someone else or say a simple hello. And now that publishing is as easy as hitting send, sharing all kinds of information from thoughts to pictures is not only common it’s a way of life. But no one ever stops to think if there’s any consequences to what they might be sending. Which brings us to the third point. We’ve now seen headlines about youth committing suicide over the above issues, whether bullying online or sexting consequences and harassment, the line of reality for the youth involved became unclear. The grave results prove the learning curve gap and raise the question of responsibility. Everyone wants to place fault somewhere, but few recognize that ultimately we missed the two important questions the Alberston’s Foundation addressed years ago: Can the learning curve keep up with the growth and who is responsible for it? When this generation is grown and dealing with all these problems, which will consequently affect everyone else, it won’t matter who was responsible for teaching them, it will only matter that they were never taught.

I think we need a ‘Teaching ABOUT Technology’ course and I think it needs to focus on youth. I think it should be taught be parents, teachers, leaders, and business owners alike. I think our youth need to be taught the same rules apply. That common sense dictates you need to ask for permission before posting pictures of anyone but yourself, that once you commit something in print you can’t get it back - that plausible deniablity is gone and you’ve now left proof of your immaturity or stupidity, and that just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Common decency and respect should be as important as they once were.

Psst…here’s a little secret: children and youth who don’t experience communication skills involving conversation, verbal exchanges, etc. won’t just magically know how to do it when they get older. They won’t know how to develop and nurture important relationships with real people if their only experience involves a technology middle man to both hide behind and talk through. They can’t know how their decisions today will impact their options tomorrow. Today’s kids have never known life without these technologies, they know nothing different. How will they learn if no one teaches them? They live in a world that is all about them, a world where they are just beginning to experience accountability for their actions, a world that doesn’t expect them to act like adults but where they have access to all the same grown up technologies. The “adults” don’t seem to have any better handle on these new technology toys as I’ve seen just as many of them texting or talking on cell phones during meetings, movies, etc., sharing private information in public ways. No, e-etiquette is as non-existent as decorum in today’s social circles. We’re going to regret that one day.

So to any youth who may chance upon this article, or responsible adults who wish to help youth they care for, may I share a few simple points of wisdom?

1) Never publish (that means send, text, type, upload) anything that you would be embarrassed or inconvenienced by if someone you weren’t expecting to see it saw it.

2) Think before you share. Once committed, you can never get it back. There is no erase or undo button for the consequences.

3) Don’t pretend to be anything you’re not just because technology makes it easy.

4) Remember that everything you do today has an impact on tomorrow, even if you can’t see it yet.

You know how you get those things on your to do list that seem to creep and stay on the back-burner? It’s not that they’re not important, they’re just easy to keep procrastinating. Well, I’m here to tell you how much relief and hidden momentum you can find when you tackle just a few of them and move them to the front.

For several years my husband and I have been saying we need to make sure we’ve got a will and affairs in order just in case anything ever happened. We know it’s important, we just keep thinking we have more time and consequently the project stays untouched on the back-burner. We finally took the first step and it feels great!

I took the positive energy and crossed off another long overdo project. I researched the doctor’s office by my children’s dentist office and set up an appointment for myself.

It’s crazy how long you can let things get dusty by procrastinating. I’m embarrassed to admit how many years these two things have been put off, although they’ve been thought of on a regular basis. Why is it so easy to think about things but so hard to convert that energy into action?

A couple years ago I shared my first real hair color fiasco, well at least for me. You see, I’m a licensed cosmetologist which gives me a slight advantage although I swore I’d never do my own - yet another example of why you should never say never. *snort* However, after repeated attempts at trying to find someone to duplicate what my former colleague did in the pictures below I gave up.

So for well over ten years now I’ve been doing my own. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, sometimes it’s great but it’s a real pain too. Hence, you look at my photos and see this constant yo-yo of short to long hair. Here’s my secret though, this is not as deliberate as it is a direct result of procrastination. When I don’t want to do a full cut I’ll just do a touch up trim which eventually leads to long and grown out, then I finally decide enough is enough and whack it off again. All my photos are like the ones below with a few “in between” grow out stages.

Length isn’t the only yo-yo. I really liked the highlights my colleague had done and I’ve done them on my own with great success. Again, the lazy factor plays a big role in my hair color going from really dark to highlighted. But you can see in the pictures below how much lift and better it looks with some highlights.

So a few years ago a new friend, who was also a cosmetologist, asked me who did my hair. I told her I did it myself and she asked if I’d be willing to trade services. The first cut was pretty good, the next not as great but it was still easier than doing it myself and trying to see the back. However, the first color trade was really bad for me. It had grown really dark again:

I wanted to touch up the highlights so it would be like it was before they grew out. But I got this:

If you’ve never noticed my different eye color before you SURE did that day! I looked like you could draw a line right down the middle of my head, one side for light, the other for darker. *giggle* Clearly this wouldn’t do but with so much of my hair so heavily processed I didn’t have many options unless I wanted to burn it all off, but I was able to at least tone it down and make it more uniform.

For my Facebook friends who begged to see pictures of my status update yesterday that I should have known better, here you go. My highlights were all grown out and my hair was really dark again. I was hoping for an even color with some variety and subtle highlights. Now I have to say that although I was letting this same friend try color again, I did have one more positive experience in the middle when I had her use multiple colors. I thought we could duplicate it again but I came home with this:

The pictures can’t really do it justice but you can at least see how patchy and random the blond areas were. I felt a bit like a calico cat. I’m not really into that patchy color thing so I came home and spent more time doing color to fix it.

I like the color but it’s really dark. I think as soon as my hair can handle it I’ll put in some soft highlights. And yes, I’ll be doing them myself this time. So here’s the ultimate lessons in hair dos and don’ts:

* Don’t let someone perform a service you can tell they are uncertain or uncomfortable with.

* Follow your gut.

* Remember it’s just hair!