There’s a lot to be said for comfort zones, both for and against them. On one hand they’re our adult security blanket that can help us feel secure and safe. On the other, they can become a barrier and stunt growth.

Several years ago, my husband and I made a painful (and previously yo-yo process) decision to move to Fort Collins, CO for a job possibility. I say painful, because we weren’t looking for it and in some ways felt pressured into it. Once we realized that we were waiting for the impossible scenario that the decision would make itself because the salary and benefits offered would make it easy to decide to move, we were able to realistically look at the opportunity and make the decision ourselves. We learned many things from our 3 months there but the lesson at the top of the list was how comfortable we’d grown being uncomfortable.

I know that sounds contradictory, but it was true. It’s not that we weren’t happy where we were before, but until we moved out of that comfort zone we couldn’t have realized how comfortable we had grown with our own mediocrity. That push caused us to identify and reach new horizons - a pattern that has since repeated itself over and over as we’ve learned to seize opportunities when they surface.

Lately, I’ve had a lot of discussions with friends and family about the value of being friendly. It strikes me that too often we can come across as unfriendly to those we meet or run into simply because we’re “comfortable” with our existing friends, etc. We don’t mean to appear exclusive or uninterested, some of us just require a little nudge out of our comfort zones.

So lately, I’ve been on the lookout in my own life for the times when I start to justify or rationalize not doing something. I’m beginning to catch myself and address this ‘knee jerk reaction’ and I’m amazed at the results. It’s just like retraining myself to tell my kids yes more than no - another comfort zone that seems to sneak up on you.

I’m finding this is a lot like exercising. When I feel those sore muscles that cause discomfort I can’t help but smile because I know that by working them positive things are happening. It’s rarely easy, never convenient and always requires sacrifice but the results are always worth it.

I wonder why it’s so easy to establish comfort zones about the silliest things; why it’s so easy to give ourselves ample excuses and reasons to stay there. Now that I say that, I do understand the primary reason because if I apply this to my ability/desire to get out of bed in the morning I totally get it. I don’t want to because I love that warm comfortable spot and the ability to do nothing but sleep!

So what do you do to help you identify and stretch your comfort zones?

This morning I sat down to my computer and found a welcome surprise; a note in my inbox indicating to me that something simple I shared here helped someone else.

“HI
I don’t know you from anyone and neither you me, but I just wanted to say we have a common friend, Jesus, who knew I needed some info on hooking my RO system to my fridge and led me right to your blog. Can I just say I’ve be looking online for hours trying to figure this out. So funny how posting something like that can help a total stranger in CA.

“I don’t know that I’ll be back but blessings just the same! and thanks for the detailed post!
Ally”

I wish Ally could know how much it meant to me that she’d take the time to leave me these thoughts and let me know that our paths crossed. It seemed so trivial at the time I posted it, so off the mark of much of what I share here that I had really questioned that post. Now I know if for no other reason, the Lord knew why.

I did actually come back and reference this post myself a few weeks ago when we thought the ice maker was acting up again so I guess you never really know do you? It tells me I should be a bit more vigilant about these “little” things.

I am convinced that we are the messengers in the Lord’s hands. He doesn’t often send us choirs of angels when we call, He sends us one another. How happy I am this morning to know that I crossed paths with a stranger, now friend in CA. Ally, I hope you’re having a wonderful day - you sure made mine.

I’m constantly amazed at the satisfaction and boost it is to get simple things done. I tend to think about the things that need done so often that I’ve done them at least a hundred times in my head before I actually get the job that only takes once to be done. What a waste of energy.

I’ve been learning how much easier it is to tell my kids yes instead of no and the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience. For example, a few weeks ago I was doing something when my son came to me and asked if I’d please make him his favorite cookies. My first thought was no, I’m doing something right now. But I’ve been working on retraining myself to that initial reaction by asking why not and how long will it really take, so instead I said yes. I dropped what I was working on and spent the next 15-20 minutes making him his favorite no bake, chocolate oatmeal cookies. Not only did I have a very happy boy, it saved me hours of nagging and interruptions. I went back to my previous task and completed it with a smile on my face knowing I’d taken time to do something that really mattered. If there were any doubt, my son confirmed this simple act with multiple verbal thanks that night and at bed time told me how he loved me with a hundred hearts and I was the best mom he ever had. Those moments are beyond price and they cost me only 15 minutes of readjusting my expectations. It takes so little to move mountains in the home.

Inspired with such simple successes in the kitchen I tried on a few things I’ve been putting off like baking bread from scratch and juicing fruit. I threw a new twist on my banana bread by cooking a large batch in a bunt cake pan. I’ve made several batches of homemade bread now and look forward to exploring new and different recipes. A little success goes a long way!

I grew up with a mother who did a lot of home canning and preservation of foods. I burned her homemade bread when left on watch. I learned how to do things with her tools and I’ve put off doing similar things in my own home for the excuse that I don’t have all the same tools like her steamer juicer. But last week I picked up all those guava that fell of the tree and juiced them. It’s not hard to cook the fruit until tender and create a makeshift drainer. I used my strainer over a bowl and one of my old flour sack dish towels to strain and squeeze the cooked fruit.

I have fruit in bottles in my fridge for immediate use and ice cubes for future use. I can’t tell you how this simple thing lifted my spirits compared to last year’s efforts of picking them up, keeping them on the counter for a few days and eventually throwing the spoiled fruit away.

Other tasks are easier to see and therefore procrastinate, like my floors. With a little unplanned motivation last week I steam cleaned my family room carpet which led to finishing the job on the tile. Have I mentioned how much I love my steamers? Or how much I love seeing the ‘after’ clean from the ‘before’ dirt?

This Saturday, I’ll drop off what feels like a garage full of bags and boxes from the deep clean of forbidden closets and corners of my home. It’s so nice to feel the space and organization when all the clutter is gone.

Little by little things are getting done and that’s my whole point. It doesn’t have to be a marathon event or everything done at one time. Just taking the few minutes here and there to do one thing that’s needing done or bugging you can do so much for your self esteem and motivation. I’ve only recently been let in on the great secret that it’s never done. So I’m not worrying anymore about getting everything ‘done’, I’m focusing instead on completing a few tasks when they come up. There’s much to be said for obtaining balance with this mentality from making cookies to playing a game or reading a story with your kids to clearing out that one junk drawer that’s taking over to preserving instead of throwing out the fruit you didn’t get to before it over ripened. I no longer look at my calendar to see everything I have to get done this week or this month. The lists are taking a much needed sabbatical and I’m retraining myself to keep the little things little, but important enough to get done. I wish I could put into words how amazed I constantly am at how much more I get done and how little time it takes to do most things. At the end of the day I’m learning the value of the lesson to just do it!

I’m always saying that the only constant in the universe is change. I really believe that. It seems that as soon as you find an answer the question changed, or as soon as you feel like you figured something out the rules or game changed. I think if my shoes represented these constant shifts I’d need several rooms to accommodate all the changes!

Today I’m reflective on the power of change. It seems that so many around me are struggling with major life changes. From new additions to separations from death or divorce, financial strain and everything in between, I have so many loved ones and friends currently experiencing the gamut that comes with these roller coaster rides. I find myself looking over my shoulder to see why I’m currently being shielded from something disastrous. I recognize that the majority of the answer is found in the various times and seasons of life, but I still feel the impact of all that’s happening around me. I find myself thinking on what I can do to prepare and fortify for the coming seasons in my own life; gearing up to be the parent of a teen, watching debilitating and terminal illness eat away at parents and grandparents, etc. I’ve weathered some personal storms in the past, I know there will be more in the future. 40 is dangerously close, definitely closer and faster than I ever dreamed possible. In so many ways I still feel like that same girl I knew at 18, I wonder if I’ll ever feel as old as the calendar says I am?

Last year at this time I was thinking on the changes of having both of kids in school the entire day. My first instinct was to fill my time with school studies. It seemed logical. I enjoy elements of law and through our adoption experiences I started thinking maybe getting a law degree would be just right for me. I was excited and anxious as I gathered more information. But the more research I did the less settled I felt. A few months ago I decided that now is not the time for me to pursue this. For one thing I’d be getting a law degree to use it and my goal isn’t work, for another I’ve already sacrificed so much to stay home with my kids I can’t see risking any of that now when they will likely need me at home and that stability more than ever in their lives. So I decided instead to beef up my reading list and educational activities at home.

Yesterday I received another curve ball. Hindsight shows my previous decision to not jump back into school right away lines up for this new change. I took my daughter to an audition this past Saturday to appease her many requests to go back for some. The reader’s digest, condensed version of this story is a birthday gift when she turned 7 blew up in my face. We let her run with it for just over a year carefully avoiding blue smoke grenades and doing our best to avoid landmines. Well, the little stink proved it wasn’t all blue smoke with her NY convention but with mom getting sucked into the career path alongside her and a two year old at home a white flag was raised and mom gracefully bowed out for a “rest”, promising her daughter that when the time was right she’d take her back for some auditions. Last Saturday I made good on that promise and yesterday she got a call back from it. We met with the talent manager last night and it looks like we’re off to the next step. New headshots are on the horizon as well as a manager marketing her for potential work in LA. Looks like travel might be in my near future. Good thing I’m not knee deep into my own schooling eh?

So again I reiterate, change is the only constant. What I wouldn’t give for a few seconds with a crystal ball. What does your future hold my Cidderbug?