No, I’m not talking about the health related ones, though they are no less important. I’m referring to the communication and interaction aspect of strokes. A stroke of a knife can cut the flesh, but the stroke of words can cut the heart. Physical hurts heal even though some may leave their mark in the form of a scar, but emotional wounds to the heart are another matter entirely. Yet we are far more careless with our words than we are with physical influences. Why is that?
Too often we speak without thinking. Too often we share our views and opinions without solicitation. Too often we disgrace the name and reputation of others with gossip and rumor. Too often we use verbal harshness to get what we want. Too often we desecrate the name of divinity. In short, too often we tear down instead of build up.
Words are indeed powerful. They have the ability to lift, raise, beautify, comfort and nurture. And as with all things they have the opposite abilities as well. When you think of the simplicity of a name much can be learned. To hear your name spoken in the positive tones makes your heart soar with pride and security. I don’t have to write the emotions that are invoked when you recall hearing your full name called in “that tone” because you know exactly how it made you feel. Is it any wonder that one of the first commandments given was not to take the name of the Lord in vain? Yet that is trampled under the feet and tongues of men today as much as every other harmful tool of verbal power.
I was struck by a talk on this subject a few years ago. The stark comparison of the speaker who spoke of how the same mouths that spoke prayers and sang praises in beautiful song would yell or speak unkindly. I thought of my own voice and my own tongue. I thought on how I frequently use both for praying and singing but never thought about how I used them in defiling and damaging ways. The title of the talk was “The Tongue of Angels” and to say it left it’s mark on me and my heart would be an understatement. I’ve been keenly more aware of my words and although I’ve got so far to go I’m now on the journey of improving my tongue.
You’ve heard the saying many times “different strokes for different folks” and it’s the truth. I’ve recently been teaching charm classes again and it brings to the surface so much of this topic as I strive to teach my students rules of engagement and common courtesies. Then as I was out catching up on some blogs last night I watched some video clips of a recent blogging convention. My eye was caught by the familiar scene of the convention center room with round tables in hotel ballrooms, their chairs occupied by people of all types, but what captured and held my attention was the one that sat at a table without a laptop. It was a stark reminder of how keystroke minded communication is these days. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that many of the people in that room where having conversations with one another, maybe some even at the same table but with instant messaging, e-mails, comments and blogging. Nearly every person in the video clip had a laptop on the table or in their laps, and it’s why the one who didn’t stood out. Our teens may not carry their laptops around like their adult counterparts yet, but they do carry around their phones and I’ve known many a youth who was having a conversation with the person next to them using their thumbs instead of their mouths. It’s an interesting phenomenon that bears both pros and cons.
On the pro side, I personally find that typing more has made me more aware of my words. When I write something, I go back over it many times and find several places where I edit, re-edit, scratch entirely, etc. The result is that I’ve been fine-tuning my communication and presentation skills. I have to think things through before I commit them to text and sometimes just seeing them in text and re-reading them sheds new light too. I have seen a stark improvement in my writing since I began blogging two years ago. Another advantage for me is the ability for my words to keep up with my thoughts thanks to hands and a mind that learned how to type. And I can do it without writer’s cramp, white-out or an eraser. (A post for another day is a rant on how many people, especially youth today, don’t acquire this skill. Hunt and peck methods were never efficient, but in today’s world I can’t hardly imagine the person keeping up without this skill.)
On the con side for me are many of the opposites. While it is considerably more efficient for me to communicate via text it is far less personal. I find it takes concerted effort on my part to continue working at other communication skills of speech and conversational interaction. I worry about the new generation who are not being taught verbal communication and social interaction skills. Another downside is the ability of doing things because one can without ever questioning if one should. And here we are full circle back to the double edged tongue.
Whether in keystrokes or voice, our words have great power. My goal is to make my strokes those of love and kindness in the lives of those around me. It’s part of working on my life, the masterpiece.
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