I was just reading a news article about help and the home owner dilemma, a real mess to be sure. President Obama was in my home state this month and addressed the government plan on funding to help struggling homeowners in foreclosure and this article was reporting on it. It shared how great the intentions are but how little good will come of it. The problems suggested are first, the number of homeowners that qualify for the aid are very small because the qualifications are so limiting and second, refinancing at a low interest rate over a longer period doesn’t solve the real problem because selling the home can’t recoup the debt. I agree with these problems.

I may have a school girl mentality, but this whole mess seems a lot easier and more basic to me than complicated economics algorithms. A mistake was made, but instead of erasing we’re piling on more scratch marks. The mistake involves two sides: the lenders and the buyers. Lenders created a stage of inflated home values, made it easy to buy into and buyers did. I use the term mistake loosely because cheating would likely apply with great accuracy. However, because there were a lot of innocent people affected I think I’ll stick with mistake here. I just want to know how much it would cost for an eraser? Why can’t we just erase the untrue and inflated values off existing mortgages? If we can pull billions of dollars out of thin air to ’stimulate’ our economy, why can’t we just erase what never existed? The banks can’t claim they’re losing because it was all make believe to begin with, in fact they’re at greater risk of default and losing by doing nothing.

Why can’t the good and honest people still paying on their mortgages be released from the cheating and lies of the industry controllers? You wouldn’t even need to refinance, just write off the unrealized inflation value that doesn’t exist anymore. This is the real problem and it’s what needs to be addressed. In fact, in my area a common scenario is a home costing $300,000 three years ago and those same homes are worth half that today. Nothing changed with the homes, just the make believe bubble surrounding them. Can you imagine having to sell and move knowing that you’d still owe $150,000 AFTER you’d sold your home? Neither can I.

So I’m just wondering how much an eraser would cost in all this. It seems like erasing not bailing is a better verb for this particular situation.

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I just got off the phone with an interviewer. He had questions about our adoption website: HopeToAdopt.com and was considering adding it into a TV story he was working on. Oh I wished for such a break years ago! But today our site is in transition. It was a delightful conversation and I’m so tickled he’d find me, call me and care about my input. I asked him where he was 9 years ago when we paid to have a story done for public television that never went anywhere!

The crazy thing is I actually gave the one adoption site that’s been on my crap list for the past decade a media referral! I figure if it does anything good for the adoption world in general it’s worth it. I’ve never cared for the attitude, approach or monopoly factor of Adoption.com but I do care deeply for adoption and those affected by it. So I passed him on to them. *gasp*

On the bright side, he complimented me on our site and efforts and said he thought it was a great story that should be told! I feel that way too. I will never regret what we put into it or all the great things that have come from it! Too bad this call was 9 years late.

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It’s been eight years ago today that my husband and I officially launched our adoption website: HopeToAdopt I’d been chatting in adoption chat rooms for a few months and became aware of a growing need for waiting families to have reasonable options for creating online profiles. A few websites were offering the service, but as web developers and adoptive parents were unhappy with the high prices being charged for the minimal effort of an “online birthparent letter” so we created HopeToAdopt.com. My husband wrote the program that automated building a 5 page website by answering questions and making selections. I designed the main site and several personalized themes for families to choose from. While other sites were charging $400 for six months for a two page letter we launched our site giving families their own 5 page site, a personal site address and access to personal site stats for $39 a year. I had two dreams with the creation of HopeToAdopt, both of which happened within the first year: 1) I hoped at least one family would be formed with the help of their H2A profile, 2) I secretly hoped our daughter’s birthmother might find us.

I’ll never forget the first notification that a placement happened. It was an e-mail from a former online friend who had been deeply discouraged with adoption and online efforts after a recent scam. It was early January, 2001 and the e-mail stated that she thought I’d like to know they’d just brought their son home and that his birthmother found them on HopeToAdopt.com! I just started to cry. I was so happy for her, even more so because of her recent heartbreaks with online adoption efforts and I was so overjoyed to have played some small part in her success. It felt wonderful to give something back to the world of adoption that had given me so much. Within a few weeks I received word of two more families whose profiles played a role in their matches and successful placements. I knew if nothing else happened and the site went away that day I’d be happy and satisfied, but there was more in store.

In June of 2001 I would receive an e-mail from our daughter’s birthmother. It brought into view a door of reuniting and opening our adoption. A few months later we all met again. Cidnie was almost 4 years old then and to watch her run into Monica’s arms with the biggest hug reduced me to a teary mess. It was an incredible moment. However, the crowning moment would come that November when we were present at her wedding. My dreams were not only realized, they were bigger and better than I could have imagined.

Today, eight years later our site is adapting to the many changes of the Internet. Today marks the day we are no longer creating/accepting new profiles on our website. One year from now there will be no more HopeToAdopt.com profiles. The service simply isn’t required anymore, blogging is the new medium for personal websites and it’s free. I’m grateful for the run we had. We turned down offers to buy our website and the two of us have run it successfully for these eight years. Other websites and agencies copied what we did, which tells me we did something right. *wink* And we did it all while proving it could be done for a fraction of the cost of others. While we’re working on a continuation of beneficial online adoption services, the reality that today marks a big milestone is ever present in my mind. It’s a sign of growth, a sign of change, a sign of progression while at the same time marking the end of something that’s been very near and dear to my heart. It’s truly bittersweet.

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I’m amazed at how many things can be about business these days. From the business of motherhood to an office in a high rise, business continues to flourish, grow and change. Change seems to be the one constant in the universe. But keeping up with it can be a real challenge.

I’ve often wondered why that is. I think the real reason is that although we often hope for change, even work for it, we are scared of it and we resist when it comes. It’s hard to let go of our comforts and routines, even when they are causing us discomfort or struggles. They’re like the adult’s version of a baby blanket or favorite toy and we cling to them just as fiercely.

The mark of a good leader in any business is the ability to do what is necessary, especially regarding change; to look it straight in the eye and find new ways to adapt. It’s not easy, in fact pain is usually a factor. The good news is knowing the opportunity that comes with every situation. When you focus on that, when you starve the problems and feed the solutions good things happen.

I’ve had to make a few necessary changes lately as both a mother and business owner. I’ve had to give a little more space to my children as they explore some independence. I’ve had to let go of some business ventures online because there are just so many new options out there with blogs, etc. that I can’t possibly compete with and don’t really want to try. But even as I make these necessary changes I’m putting a smile on my face reminding myself that I’m simply making room for what’s coming next and it will be bigger and better!

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