It’s easy to complain. It’s too easy too complain. In fact, it’s downright effortless. Even surrounded by countless blessings, one can find themselves huddled in a corner counting off their inconveniences and missing objects. I was reminded of this tonight.

It started with going to the movie with my daughter. She’s reaching the age where she really wants to do more grown up activities, or at least what she perceives as more grown up. She can’t identify why she wants to go to the mall, just that she wants to go. So today we settled on a movie together. Knowing the boys have clear lines drawn about the types of movies they want to see, and asking her to continually sacrifice her own wants when the topic comes up, I offered to take her to a movie today that she would enjoy. So we went to see The Blind Side.

When I got home I found a few more chores waiting for my attention; dinner, laundry and making a bed to name a few. I found myself putting clothes away and thinking to myself how I’d just gotten done doing something for someone else and how nice it would have been if I could have not had to come home and do more. I dreamed of how nice it would be to just do the things I want to do instead of all the things that need done. And just like that, I was complaining. Complaining, while all around me were signs of success: clothes to launder and put away, money for a movie, the convenience of picking up dinner when it’s too late to make something, having a wonderful family of my own to be responsible for. I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I suppose I was feeling a little backlash from the abrupt timing of leaving for the movie. Cid had been such a trooper helping without being asked around the house. She’d wanted to go out this morning and I told her I had too many chores to do, so she jumped in helping with a few in the hopes that it might speed things along and leave enough time to do something she wanted. I couldn’t turn her down, she’d earned it. I mean, how many 12 year old girls do you know will clean their 7 year old brother’s disastrous room on their own and be happy about it? I was planning on doing a family movie up until about 5 minutes before plans changed and we had to rush out the door to catch the chick flick. I left my projects in midstream which left me somewhat befuddled, but I’m not sorry; it was quality time with a sweet girl who means the world to me. The movie, based on a true story, brought so much back into focus. A 17 year old boy with nowhere to live, from a broken home, a broken life, a broken family. When a private school’s coach sees his potential athletic ability he pushes to get him admitted to the school despite his low scores and lack of files or other meaningful information. One family acts on seeing him alone in the rain one night and they take him in. What starts out as a short term arrangement ends up as a permanent arrangement and addition to the family with every blessing and wonderful thing that comes with it, including scholarships to college and an eventual position in the NFL - literally a life saved. The story really brought to the forefront the realities of stark comparisons for a life with and a life without, as well as the amazing power of love and kindness. A reminder that we all have so much to give, and there are scores of others waiting for us to recognize that, waiting for a needed lift.

So, I stopped for a moment while putting away clothes and making the bed to think on how much I have. To recognize that I was complaining about having to do the basic things that indicate I have my basic needs met. How silly. I took a moment to realize how blessed I am and how good we have it. I only hope it’s the first of many such reflections in the coming year.

I’m constantly amazed at the satisfaction and boost it is to get simple things done. I tend to think about the things that need done so often that I’ve done them at least a hundred times in my head before I actually get the job that only takes once to be done. What a waste of energy.

I’ve been learning how much easier it is to tell my kids yes instead of no and the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience. For example, a few weeks ago I was doing something when my son came to me and asked if I’d please make him his favorite cookies. My first thought was no, I’m doing something right now. But I’ve been working on retraining myself to that initial reaction by asking why not and how long will it really take, so instead I said yes. I dropped what I was working on and spent the next 15-20 minutes making him his favorite no bake, chocolate oatmeal cookies. Not only did I have a very happy boy, it saved me hours of nagging and interruptions. I went back to my previous task and completed it with a smile on my face knowing I’d taken time to do something that really mattered. If there were any doubt, my son confirmed this simple act with multiple verbal thanks that night and at bed time told me how he loved me with a hundred hearts and I was the best mom he ever had. Those moments are beyond price and they cost me only 15 minutes of readjusting my expectations. It takes so little to move mountains in the home.

Inspired with such simple successes in the kitchen I tried on a few things I’ve been putting off like baking bread from scratch and juicing fruit. I threw a new twist on my banana bread by cooking a large batch in a bunt cake pan. I’ve made several batches of homemade bread now and look forward to exploring new and different recipes. A little success goes a long way!

I grew up with a mother who did a lot of home canning and preservation of foods. I burned her homemade bread when left on watch. I learned how to do things with her tools and I’ve put off doing similar things in my own home for the excuse that I don’t have all the same tools like her steamer juicer. But last week I picked up all those guava that fell of the tree and juiced them. It’s not hard to cook the fruit until tender and create a makeshift drainer. I used my strainer over a bowl and one of my old flour sack dish towels to strain and squeeze the cooked fruit.

I have fruit in bottles in my fridge for immediate use and ice cubes for future use. I can’t tell you how this simple thing lifted my spirits compared to last year’s efforts of picking them up, keeping them on the counter for a few days and eventually throwing the spoiled fruit away.

Other tasks are easier to see and therefore procrastinate, like my floors. With a little unplanned motivation last week I steam cleaned my family room carpet which led to finishing the job on the tile. Have I mentioned how much I love my steamers? Or how much I love seeing the ‘after’ clean from the ‘before’ dirt?

This Saturday, I’ll drop off what feels like a garage full of bags and boxes from the deep clean of forbidden closets and corners of my home. It’s so nice to feel the space and organization when all the clutter is gone.

Little by little things are getting done and that’s my whole point. It doesn’t have to be a marathon event or everything done at one time. Just taking the few minutes here and there to do one thing that’s needing done or bugging you can do so much for your self esteem and motivation. I’ve only recently been let in on the great secret that it’s never done. So I’m not worrying anymore about getting everything ‘done’, I’m focusing instead on completing a few tasks when they come up. There’s much to be said for obtaining balance with this mentality from making cookies to playing a game or reading a story with your kids to clearing out that one junk drawer that’s taking over to preserving instead of throwing out the fruit you didn’t get to before it over ripened. I no longer look at my calendar to see everything I have to get done this week or this month. The lists are taking a much needed sabbatical and I’m retraining myself to keep the little things little, but important enough to get done. I wish I could put into words how amazed I constantly am at how much more I get done and how little time it takes to do most things. At the end of the day I’m learning the value of the lesson to just do it!

I read a funny saying this morning of how life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end the faster it goes. I giggled, thinking almost immediately about how fast the end of that roll really does go.

See, these are the types of things that are witty because everyone can nod their head due to personal experience. It’s the “funny ’cause it’s true” element. I always wish I could come up with stuff like this. You’d think it would be easy given the great abundance of general, funny things the masses will experience/relate to, yet I always come up empty headed. I think there’s a specific brain cell I’m lacking in.

So as I can’t come up with an original one, I started thinking of adaptations to this one:

Problems are like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end the faster it goes.
Lies are like a roll of toilet paper, the…
Dessert is like a roll of toilet paper…
Sanity is like a roll of toilet paper…

And then I thought about things that work in reverse like laundry. Ever notice how no matter how much you do or how close you get to the end, it slows down? How about poison hour - that witching hour that you know you have to make it through to get to some relief? How come these things can’t be like toilet paper?

I don’t know why, but Tuesdays and Thursdays tend to be the hardest days of the week for me. Mondays are hectic, but it’s expected so I never pay it much mind. Wednesday gives me refueling knowing it’s mid-week and Friday of course stands alone as the day that signifies the end…relief! But these other two days hit a lull for me that’s hard to pinpoint.

This morning I decided to figure out what my “toughies” are today. First I noticed my tile floor…yipes. My steamer may run away with how much is waiting there to be cleaned up! It occurred to me this morning how odd it is that when we moved into this home I would faithfully steam my floors every single week - when they needed it the very least! *giggle* I’m not sure how much of that was ease because there was so little to do and how much of it was the new bug, but it’s funny to me that I was so faithful with deep cleaning when it was least required. It made me think that I often make things harder simply by putting them off. It’s why I feel such relief when I get it done! My yard is screaming for attention and the weather is just starting to turn so I’ll be able to give it some of that much needed time and energy. But as I looked out my (dirty) kitchen window this morning, again I saw how much harder jobs are when I let them build through neglect. I know in theory and practice that maintenance is always easier than an overhaul, but for some reason bridging that gap with simple household chores is a real challenge!

I’m going to pull the ’sick’ card because I don’t get to very often and because it makes me feel better today. I’m still a little under the weather but mostly feel it only in my productivity department. It’s amazing how such simple things can put my world on tilt. Last week at this time I was feeling dumpy with a cold and thinking how I couldn’t wait to start a fresh new week. Today I’m in the same rut with a different kind of bug but a bug none the less. I need a health bug exterminator! *giggle* I keep telling myself if I ignore the silly bugs and pretend they don’t exist, maybe they’ll go away on their own! At any rate, I know more has slipped in the past couple weeks and is more visible simply because I haven’t felt up to doing things. This is another testament to the reality that maintenance is worth its weight in gold!

So today’s toughies for me are to get something more productive done at my computer. I’ve spent plenty of time here the past couple weeks but what’s gotten done doesn’t fit in the productivity bucket! I also hope to find my steamer and clean my very dirty floor and windows. I’m not sure how much tackle is in me this Tuesday, but by sharing it here I feel like be committing myself a bit to it! Maybe that will help. *wink*

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Homemaker Organizing Housework Balance

It never ceases to amaze me how we’ll push simple cleaning projects back on our lists over and over. It’s not that they’re big, just that they’re undesirable.

Today’s tip: Just Do It

This morning I spent about 10 minutes cleaning my microwave. It wasn’t hard and it looks so much better! Two cleaning tools that I’d die without in my kitchen are my scratch free-scouring scrub brush with soap filled handle and disposable disinfectant wipes. The brush makes short work of scrubbing on all my kitchen surfaces with the aid of just the right amount of dish soap and the wipes are the perfect finisher. Both are great in the kitchen because both cut grease and we all know how fun grease is to clean up. *frown*

I’ve put off cleaning the microwave for several weeks and every time I’d open it I’d groan. I’ve probably cleaned the darn thing 100 times in my head! It only took once and it took less than 10 minutes but man it sure feels good. The payback of satisfaction and motivation far outweigh my procrastination reasons. There’s power in just doing things that need done.

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Homemaker Sharing Housework Balance Blogging

So Tuesday has come again and yesterday slipped by without me getting a post up. Today I want to highlight my ten year old daughter on her reaching new levels of personal development.

Kids grow so quickly, yet we tend to miss so many milestones because they are so gradual for us who live with them all the time. Sometimes I step back and realize just how big my kids are growing by remembering how small they used to be and the times when they couldn’t do what they now do with ease. Dishes is one of those things for my daughter. She’s always been a great helper and even as a toddler would pull up a stool or chair by your side at the sink. Her favorite part was making and spreading bubbles of course, but she was always enthusiastic about helping. As she’s grown the enthusiasm has waned but the skills have grown. The other other night I snapped a picture of her doing the dishes because I suddenly realized how she was now doing the job 100% on her own - and doing it well I might add. I suddenly saw that she didn’t need a stool or chair to reach anymore, nor did she even need my guidance on the steps of unloading and loading the dishwasher. I saw my growing girl becoming a little lady.

As she continues to grow I hope I don’t miss too many important changes and milestones just because they seem gradual to me. These are big accomplishments, no matter how small. Especially when you remember the times when they couldn’t lift their own heads, walk for more than a couple steps, reach a drawer or get their clothes on by themselves. Now she’s picking out her own clothes, writing in her diary and organizing her own room. That’s monumental development in such a short time. Would that we could keep up that level of growth and accomplishment in our later years!

So today I’m taking a moment to pause and acknowledge how gracefully my angel is growing.

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I should totally be cleaning right now but I’m a great procrastinator. Besides, what better use of my time than taking a few more moments to record something of value?

It’s Pass the Torch Tuesday time and I have a great share this week. My friend, Kelly invented this great idea of catching our kids being good. I don’t know about other moms, but this mom needs all the help she can get on remembering that!

My kids are good helpers. My daughter is at the whining stage. You know the one where every time you ask them to do something you get an eye roll, big sigh or “but, but…..” This of course is largely dependent on the type of activity at hand. If you’re talking about something really fun she’s first in line with the biggest smile. But if she’s already decided this is a run of the mill “chore” watch out. *giggle* But even this is wonderful because it’s a sign of growth. Besides that, it reminds me all the more of the time when she was mommy’s (and grandma’s!) little helper.

And that makes me appreciate all the more the stage her little brother is in. He’s married to his stepping stool these days. You can give him any task from doing dishes to peeling potatoes and he’s right there. They want so much to be a big person and do all the same things. I truly love it!

They grow so fast, but how grateful I am for these stages and the fact that both of my kids enjoy so much being mommy’s helper.

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Believe it or not this happened for me on Saturday. It very may well be the first time in my little family’s lives when it happened but it happened.

I have to set the right stage by explaining that with birthdays and a crazy work schedule that the house really fell apart in the past couple of weeks. It never ceases to amaze me how only four people can create so much mess. It seemed the best I could do was keep up with the dishes once a day while the rest of the rooms and floors continued to accumulate all kinds of attractions.

In the past, I’ve been reluctant to use Saturday time to clean the house. Partly because I find that with everyone home the next day too that Monday is like starting over so I may as well wait and do it once on Monday versus twice. This follows the truth that keeping a clean house while raising kids is like shoveling the walk while it’s snowing. The other reason is that I hate wasting precious time with my family if there are other things we could be doing together. It began with the typical moans and groans of the kids not wanting to help. Who could blame them? The place was a wreck and it looked like it would take a week to get it clean again. Then the magic began.

Positive Motivation:
I told my daughter if she’d just work with me I’d give her entire week’s chore allowance for this one day. She slowly started to turn a corner and the complaining dropped drastically. My son got tired of gathering his toys from the family room to return to his bedroom so I brought him over to the allowance chart and explained the same deal of giving him his entire week’s chore allowance for this one day of cleaning if he’d help me get it all done. He got a big grin on his face and went back to collecting.

Mom was happy too because this system took a little sabbatical of neglect recently and this boost made all of us feel better!

Small & Fun Job Breakdown:
The next stroke of success came in mixing in some jobs they consider fun and different with the others. My daughter beamed when I gave her the job of steaming the tile floor and her attitude quickly went from disgruntled to happy. My son loved getting his hands on the vacuum and replacing garbage liners. It didn’t matter to me that I’d have to redo some of the vacuuming my five year old would miss because he was learning how to help and he was delighted. I didn’t keep them in one place or room very long. I found they were most helpful and happy when they could come back asking for a new task quickly. You could actually feel their pride of success grow with each return and desire to be given another thing they could succeed at. It got to be so much fun that I started running out of little jobs while I finished one. We ended with a disinfectant wipe and instructions for each to attack the door knobs, light switches and walls where little hands had left prints behind. And all the while my expectation was just to find the floors. *big smile*

Team Effort:
Another turning point came when dad finished reading his book and joined the ranks. The kids actually didn’t care what they were doing anymore, just that we were all doing it together. It was amazing how having all four of us work together not only cranked out the work but became another “fun” thing our family was doing together. The time was cut in half and within a two hour window the entire house had been cleaned. The kids were so proud of their efforts and kept talking about how nice it was to have a clean house. Mom was happy, dad was happy and it was only 2:30 in the afternoon! We still had the entire rest of the afternoon and evening to fill.

So lesson learned - keep these keys in play and housework isn’t such a chore!

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It’s nice when ideas work out. At the start of the summer I shared how the crazy schedules were taking their toll. I knew I had to come up with a few things to help me save my sanity. I needed to come up with things to address filling their time as well as behavior and helping out around the house. As most of what we’ve implemented has been working I thought I’d share.
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What is it about mornings that seem to hold a certain amount of magic in regards to productivity? Maybe it’s the fresh start or recharged batteries that helps, I’m not sure but I’m grateful for any extra help.

This morning was great. My kids weren’t totally convinced at first but as the morning wore on they decided it was all good. The house took a total hit over the weekend and was a royal mess this morning. I told the kids they couldn’t do anything they wanted until the house was back in order. We also set up some new motivation techniques to help us with the summer hours, chores and learning. The motivation was enough to keep my 9 year old going strong until the entire house had been found. The 4 year old needed a little more help along the way but they both stuck it out and helped mom regain the house. They’re good kids. It also never ceases to amaze me how much fun they have playing with old toys that seem new when mom’s helping organize and put items back together.

Even my husband is back on the morning track. He rose at 4 AM this morning to add a few more hours to his work day before the rest of the office gets in. He’s hoping it will give him the extra time he needs to finish up so many extra projects and tasks before the trip to shore next month. I’m such a baby with my sleep. I couldn’t do a 4 AM morning unless I knew I was asleep by 7 PM each night - yeah right. Do you think he can go on less sleep than me or do you think I’m just a pansie? Don’t answer that unless you think guys don’t need as much beauty sleep. *wink*

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