I really don’t need any signs to tell me my kids are growing, but as I reviewed some pictures this morning I couldn’t help but see the obvious signs staring back at me.

Barbie dolls used to be a favorite thing.

Now it’s all about making quilts.

Plastic tool toys used to hold his interest for hours.

Now we’ve graduated to Legos and Erector sets.

It’s amazing to watch. Cidnie has always had such of love for all things family oriented and always has. She’s always loved to play pretend house and other life skills role play games, and she still does. Her life is continually focused on what’s yet to come. She’s already talking about getting married and being a mom after she moves to Idaho for college (she’s not sure if she dares have roommates who may play tricks on her but her back up plan is to live with Grandma.) I write it that way because it’s exactly the way she thinks of it: describing the step of marriage and family first, yet adding at the end that it will be after college. It’s so Cid. I have to pinch myself that my little forward thinking girl is twelve when she talks so matter of fact like about her future. She wants to grow up so fast. I can’t see anything but a blur from her arrival to now and can’t imagine why she thinks it needs to go any faster! But she is the very embodiment of social butterfly and time is very different in her world. Social elements are her life, her focus, her love. It’s why her memory for these details are unparalleled. She never ceases to amaze me.

Then there’s my little Taylor. This kid has an engineer’s mind. His fascination with how things work and putting things together at this young age astound me. I love seeing him move freely between following instructions for building to designing his own creations. He can entertain himself for hours on end all while rotating through his toys thoroughly and without any help or direction from me. I’ve never seen the likes of it. He always shows such earnest for learning, like it’s water in the desert. He struggles with his desire for perfection and control, and yet I know it’s because he can see so clearly in his mind what he wants something to look like or how something is supposed to be. His little tongue works 24×7 when he’s in concentration mode, which is almost constantly! I used to think he’d wear his lower mouth out but it seems to have adjusted to the constant movement of that tongue. At seven he still comes up out of the blue to give me a hug and tell me how much he loves me.

Today is the last day of November. Life has changed so much over the years, but just for today I’m pausing to remember the blessings of my kids. November is a month of gratitude for me. Thanksgiving of course gives reason to ponder on our many blessings, and the National Adoption Awareness Month that accompanies November gives me even more reason. How grateful I am for my children, for their amazing birth parent families, for the privilege of being called “Mom.” I know how fast the time goes. I’m painfully aware of how much time has already slipped through my fingers with them, but nothing can take away my memories or the love we share. Time may pass, but love only grows.

November is already here. I can’t believe it. Here’s the second installment of Halloween fun at our house.

We carved some pumpkins on Monday night and a few more on Saturday:

I need to point out that this year Taylor was completely independent on drawing on and cutting out his pumpkin faces. He still requested help gutting the pumpkin as that totally grosses this kid out! But he sure had fun doing the rest himself. In fact, the next day I found he’d cut two eyes into another pumpkin all by himself. Not surprising, he’d done nothing more than cut the eyes out! He also made me put a big eye face on the mini pumpkin I put in the big mean pumpkin’s mouth. I wanted to put “x’s” on it but he said that was too mean and this little pumpkin had to show that it was going to escape. He’s got heart, that kid.

Taylor had a class party on Friday. His sister’s class are their reading buddies and they came down to decorate pumpkins with them. He opted to be a pirate for the school day because it was easier to put on and met the guidelines with no masks or makeup. He’s still a wickedly cute little pirate says I.

And here’s how the costumes turned out. This one is Cidnie’s, I created the pattern and used $1.50/yd clearance fabric at Walmart. I was pretty happy with the $6.00 investment for her entire costume!

Tay was most patient getting his face painted. It went better and faster than I’d hoped! Although I sure had a hard time finding him in the dark without seeing that platinum blond hair and pale skin!!

Mother Confessor meets Darth Maul:

We had a fun time Halloween night visiting with friends and neighbors while eating and handing out candy. The kids had a ball playing with friends and collecting bags full of treats. All in all, a most successful Halloween!

The Halloween craze continues to run rampant in our neck of the woods. On our nightly walks we see nearly as many outdoor lights and displays as we do at Christmas. It’s truly a ’spooktacular’ phenomenon. My son tells me all the time that we don’t have enough stuff on our house. But we have more than I ever thought we would. Kids have a way of helping make sure that happens. I thought we were doing pretty well, I mean we have our ghost in the tree:

Some tombstones, a couple pumpkins, a skeleton, a witch’s broom and one of those annoying noise maker coffin boxes:

All are accompanied by a red/orange glow from the colored bulbs in the light fixtures, and I was especially proud that my plug in jack-o-lantern worked with my plug extension twisted into the light socket directly above it. Last year he sat hidden by the door, this year he’s front and center without an extension chord. However, Taylor wasn’t so easily impressed with my engineering feat. Lucky for me, he tends to lighten up when it gets close enough to Halloween to carve and light our pumpkins. *wink*

Halloween got an early start for us this year, the first weekend of the month to be specific. Cidnie decided she wanted to find and color some Halloween coloring pages. So she went to the computer and started printing out pages to color.

Taylor joined in the fun and then we cut them out and hung them on the mirror.

Last week we had fun making some Halloween decorations that Grandma and Grandpa gave the kids for their birthdays. We watched some of the movie The Labyrinth while making the skeleton. I still love that movie.

The month was already filling with Halloween things and then the cookie phantom and boo ghost landed on our door. So last night we made treats with the kids; two kinds of cookies and some chocolate dipped pretzel sticks. I was so happy with the way the cookie cutter cookies turned out that I wanted to share the recipe.

Basic Cookie Cutter Cookies

3/4 C Sugar
1/2 (1 stick) butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 C Flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons pear butter (I put in the pear butter because the mix was too crumbly. You could easily substitute apple sauce for the pear butter. )

My only complaint with this fun activity in past years is the need to make copies of stuff to give with the treats. In the past, I’ve ended up making my own version to print out (I promise to get all those in their many varieties up on my file section soon) and then I give extra copies to the families we share with so they don’t have the headache. But this year, the boo ghost smartened up and came with a website address to go get the information and picture from.

I have two weeks left to figure out costumes. Cidnie wants to be the confessor from the TV show “Legend of the Seeker” and Taylor wants to be Darth Maul.

So far I have Cidnie’s knives:

Looks like the sewing machine will be used for more than humanitarian quilt tops! Hopefully, I’ll find enough success to want to blog it when it’s done.

So that wraps up our Halloween 2009 Part I. In a few weeks I’ll have one full of the pumpkin carving, trunk-or-treats and Halloween night parties. *wipes brow* Is it Thanksgiving yet?

Sweetheart, today you turn twelve. It doesn’t seem possible, and yet I know I’ll feel the same way when you hit sixteen and that will be here before I know it. As a parent you long for your child to reach new milestones all the while wishing against hope that you could keep your precious ones small. You’re growing up before my eyes, but you’ll never outgrow my heart. You see, you are the champion of my heart.

That heart skipped beats before and until your arrival. Oh it tried desperately to achieve regularity and stability, but all was in vain without you. Something inside simply knew it wasn’t complete. I prayed and prayed for that completeness to come. I cried, worried, mourned and despaired over the emptiness only you could fill. For many years I wondered at the future of my heart. For the first time in my life I began to doubt.

They say the brightest rainbows come after the darkest storms. Well dear, your rainbow surpasses description. You are the champion of my heart. You won it over the moment I laid eyes on you, when you were still in your mother’s belly. I felt a tingle in that empty place. The ache in my arms was replaced with such warmth and love the first time I held you, my baby sweet. You were everything I’d hoped; everything I’d dreamed; everything I’d wanted. You still are.

So you see, you can never outgrow my heart for you grew in it. You played a critical role in completing it. You are the champion of my heart.

I can’t resist sharing this photo of Tay a few days ago before his haircut. It seems to fit perfectly with the title of today’s post too!

We had the pleasure of enjoying Grandma and Grandpa’s company last night so we threw in a little early birthday celebration fun. I wish I could put into words how excited my sweet boy gets about things. He was so delighted to see his cake (which was so rushed by mom!!) was in the form of one of his newest video game favorites…PacMan! But when he turned it around and saw the candles that spelled his name and how old he was turning he moved from excited thank yous and jumping to squeals of delight and “You’re the best mom ever!” chants. I love this kid!

Then we let both kids open their birthday presents from Grandma and Grandpa. They scored big time with both, but Tay’s Bakugan was definitely the first prize winner! I should point out to check out his sister’s reaction in the background of the photo, she of course is explaining how much he LOVES these silly toys. *giggle*

This morning he woke up before 7:00 a.m. asking if he could open the rest of his presents. I’m not sure who was more excited, him or his sister. *wink*

Taylor had a fun early birthday present. He got to spend a few days with his half brother. This morning they opened their birthday presents from Marci - matching Heeley shoes! I promised to get her lots of pictures so here’s a few. I also had Blake use one of the kid’s cameras to get video. The picture quality is lacking but the essence of excitement is still captured!

The passing of time really does sneak up on you. I was looking through pictures this morning and couldn’t help but see the serious growth in my kids just since these were taken when we moved into our new home only 3.5 years ago.

This is our fourth fall in this home. It doesn’t seem possible when it still feels like only a year ago at most. Yet here the calendar and pictures are telling me that what it feels like and what it is are not the same thing. Time really does sneak up on you when you.

She keeps growing without permission. I find myself looking back at what felt like yesterday, even though the calendar says different, and wondering if I’ve given her everything I wanted to. I can’t help but think about life before my Cidderbug and how grateful I was to finally get her in my arms. Now she’s squirming away into the uncharted waters of young womanhood. Does she know how much I love her? Does she know how sad I am when she’s sad? How my heart aches when she struggles with something challenging? How proud I am of her every accomplishment?

Sometimes the daily hum drum of life drowns out the important things. I relive all the moments and mistakes when the patience ran thin. My memory is longer than hers for most of these things - thank heaven for tender mercies. We are our own worst critique they say. Most of the time I find myself treating my measuring stick like a bank register except I only ever seem to record the deficits. But then you get those glimmers when your child does something that makes your heart so proud it feels it might burst, those moments when you know you did something right. Those are the times when the Lord steps in and writes in your deposit for you.

Parenting is a whirlwind. It’s a crash course of learning you never knew possible. The climbs are harder and steeper than you thought you had the energy or strength for, and the views are incredible beyond description. The time you have them in your clutches is far shorter than the time they’ll spend being independent, yet when they’re young it consumes you to the point you can’t imagine them growing beyond you. And then you turn around and there they are looking back at you.

Traveling requires a lot of compromise. Convenience, time and cost are the major players and sometimes they’re not always on the same side. With two trips to Idaho this summer for various family events we knew we’d have to buck up and take the hit in the convenience department to make both happen. No amount of pulling for that private or charter jet could counter the bank account’s argument that the cost of gas versus airline tickets was a landslide. On the upside, I don’t mind driving and enjoy having time to visit with Blake. However, 64 hours of it in a month’s time is a little extreme. So on our last drive home we stopped over in Las Vegas to spend the night with Grandma. This is the first time we’ve been over the Hoover Dam in a couple years and the progress they’ve made on the new freeway through there is amazing! I only wish these pictures could do justice to the instant queasy feeling in your stomach you get when you see it in person. That gorge is a LONG way down!

As you can see from the pictures, the supporting arch is nearly complete. The road will continue where the side connection towers show. It is an amazing engineering feat in my mind.

Another sad but interesting tidbit is how much the water level has dropped. When I was first married our trips over the dam were very different. There was water in all the white areas of these photos. the water line used to come right up under the time towers. We’ve watched it drop ever since.

My kids were greatly intrigued with the dam on this trip. Taylor recognized many of the buildings and structures from the movie Transformers and kept himself occupied trying to figure out where they were all placed. Cidnie started to comprehend the enormity of the dam and the value of resources like water. It’s fun to watch your kids grow.

I’m still not sure I’m going to have the guts to drive over the dam when the road is finished. I suspect it will feel a lot like the uneasiness I experienced about half way over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. 17.6 miles of bridge-tunnel is a very long way. I’m not sure how high this new archway and road over the dam is, I just know craning my neck to look up at it makes my stomach churn.