I got an e-mail this morning with a link to an artist’s website. I’m only sad that I’ve not known this artist before this morning. His work is exquisite to me. I was so moved by his new painting “One Nation Under God” that I wanted to share it here. I have only captured a small section of this picture in hopes others will click on it and visit the artist’s site to see the full work and read of his thoughts on it.

I am so amazed by the talents of others and their willingness to share them. I really think Jon captured the heart and essence of all the wonderful elements of this great nation in his painting. I could feel a shared love for American History and the sacrifices of so many wonderful people since it’s birth.

“Without union our independence and liberty would never have been achieved; without union they can never be maintained.

“The time at which I stand before you is full of interest. The eyes of all nations are fixed on our Republic. The event of the existing crisis will be decisive in the opinion of mankind of the practicability of our federal system of government. Great is the stake placed in our hands; great is the responsibility which must rest upon the people of the United States. Let us exercise forbearance and firmness. Let us extricate our country from the dangers which surround it and learn wisdom from the lessons they inculcate.” - Andrew Jackson

This seemed so appropriate for today, and in light of yesterday’s post.

Fear: (noun) a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

This is a dictionary definition of the word fear. I hope I can put into words, the feelings of my heart today. There’s so much I want to say and it all seems to circle around the concept of fear. I want to be direct and to the point lest this post go on for pages, but I also hope to convey more than cold or meaningful facts or tidbits. The reality is we live in a world where men fear men more than God. As a result, many people suffer needlessly and worst of all is the fear seems to be driving common sense and integrity on permanent vacations.

I find it interesting that the definition for fear addresses how the threat can be real OR imagined. Countless examples of imagined threats are causing a great deal of raucous in today’s world. I can’t help but wonder how much could be done with those same energies and resources spent on something other than fear. But this follows the proverbial truth that negative screams while positive whispers, we simply can’t see or hear anything over the call of fear.

Perhaps the most disheartening element of fear for me is the destructive and separating force it leaves in its wake. People do things they wouldn’t do, or things they know aren’t right in the face of fear. It is the nemesis of integrity and it’s a battle every one of us has personal experience with. I’ll never forget my 7th grade physical science teacher and his lesson on fear. I got a triple whammy. The first wave came from an unbelievably hard test, I didn’t know at the time that was part of the master plan. The second wave came the next day when we were handed our own papers to grade and seeing how badly I’d done, I decided to change a few answers that were “oh so close” so I’d at least get a passing grade. Which led to the final tidal wave the next day when the teacher shared how he’d secretly graded those tests before he handed them out and was surprised at how many different scores he got back when we graded our own. I swear he looked right at me when he shared his disappointment on that fact. The reality is, I was gripped with fear in the challenge that was bigger than me, then by the thought I might have failed, and finally by the reality that I’d been caught cheating. I determined in that moment to never let fear drive my academic future or decisions again. I’m proud to report that on that note I succeeded. In fact, I refused to study for my ACT test because I wanted to know what I really knew, not how well I could perform on a test I’d crammed for. Fear is a powerful, but flawed motivator.

While each of us can relate to our own experiences of getting caught doing something, and making bad choices from the fear it caused, the even sadder tales are those when a choice deeply impacts the well being of others around us. The human battlefield is littered with causalities resulting from decisions made through the fear. The victims hit hardest are often the most innocent and least deserving of hardship. These are the times when heaven must weep.

And we must’n forget the biggest black hole of all, the band wagon syndrome of teaming up on someone or something we’re afraid of. This fear, though often only perceived or imagined, drives good people to do bad and stupid things. Sadly, there is strength in numbers and in this situation, people find contrived, make believe, justification and security when they are part of a larger crowd. You need only look at recent news stories in our nation to see this black hole of fear at work, and it’s not the first time in our nation’s history either. In fact, you’d think by now we’d have learned to reign in the fear because we’ve surely had enough practice. Take Andrew Jackson. He took so many fiery darts and prophetic style slanders that he was going to single-handedly ruin our great nation that it’s amazing he survived not one but two terms as president. He came into the presidency during a most tumultuous time when the nation was on the brink of civil war and great changes were taking place. He was loved and hated, quoted as being an inspiration to Lincoln, revered by Theodore and Franklin Roosevelt and hailed by Harry Truman as one of the four greatest presidents along with Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln. Yet, he may have taken more slander and hate than other predecessors combined. The more I read about his presidency the more convinced I am that fear was the driving force behind the extreme opposition he faced.

Daily, my heart is heavy with good friends and good people who take part of the great mud pit surrounding political issues. I understand disagreeing with another person, even on every conceivable point. But I don’t understand the slander, the intent to deface and the desire to destroy that too many good people are becoming part of. You can’t stand in the mud pit without getting mud on you. There is nothing christian about slander and meanness. Negative begets negative. It is time for people to rise above it and step out of the mud pit.

Recently my heart wept for headlines associated with my hometown.

“Rammell isn’t the first Rexburg resident who has drawn attention for making an anti-Obama comment. In November 2008, second- and third-grade students on a school bus there chanted “Assassinate Obama” after his election, prompting the mayor of this eastern Idaho town to publicly apologize.”

This is the closing paragraph of a recent article in the AP/Huffington. For reference, the comment was about issuing hunting tags for Obama and the article explains how Rammell refuses to apologize for it.

Someone who knew nothing about this small town would never guess from these news stories that the town is largely christian. There is nothing christian about attacking another person’s character, let alone making jokes or threats on their life regardless of position, title, race or religion. What makes my heart weep is knowing that these aren’t bad people, these are good people driven by fear. Just as I wasn’t a cheater and knew it was wrong to do so, I let fear push me over my personal line of integrity in 7th grade science class. Too many good people today are making bad and wrong choices because of fear.

My greatest hope is that someone reading this will decide to pick up a sword and shield for integrity and fight back against the fear; that more people will decide to wade out of the mud pit and stop passing around glasses of dirty water. The war is the same whether the battlefield is private, public, political, or personal. Fear only has the power we give it and the war against it is perhaps the greatest of our existence. So let me end this where I began, but with the solution instead of the problem:

Courage: (noun) the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

I love history. The more I learn, the more I love. This week I’m reading The American Lion, Andrew Jackson in the White House. As soon as I saw this book’s title I knew I wanted to read it.

As a young girl, my sister and I would listen to dramatized tapes going to bed. We had all the scripture stories and in our later years we got the American history set. The Andrew Jackson tape was one of my favorites. I can still hear the voices and repeat the lines shared between a young Andrew and an angry British military officer over his refusal to shine the man’s boots.

“Sir, I’m a prisoner of war, and prisoners cannot be forced to act as servants to enemy officers.”
“You’re not a prisoner of war, you’re a rebel and traitor and…”
“And I will not clean your boots!”

Then there was the sound of human anguish as the angry officer slashed at young Andrew with his sword. The memories are as vivid in my mind now as the images that flashed through my mind then.

Fueled by my memories, I’ve jumped into this book. It is interesting to me to read it on the heels of our most recent presidential election. There are many similarities that could be made. According to history, Jackson was the first president to be referred to as the people’s president and his presidency brought about great changes. He was the instigator of the democratic party with an avid belief that the power belonged with the people.

What strikes me though is how obvious it is to me that with the passing of time the memories and stories become clouded, fuzzy and even romanticized. There is an unwritten assumption by most people that our early history was a time of greater civility, less politics and better morals. The truth is, all the same problems existed then that do now in these areas we just have more people and a more assessable media. Reading about the political stories behind early leaders of this country leaves no doubt that politics have always been played out in the wings. In fact, Andrew Jackson blamed the ferocity and meanness of his 1828 election campaign as the reason for his wife’s death. I think the human appetites and hunger that plague the human spirit have always been present and always wreaked havoc on mankind when given the upper hand.

I like learning simple things like the fact that Andrew and Rachel never conceived a child and became parents to two through adoption. I didn’t know that and it strikes a personal chord with me. These simple stories and details help me understand historical figures better and makes them more than a name on a page.

I like reading facts of things that happened without personal opinions leaving the reader to make their own determinations of all the good and the bad. I like being reminded of things I’m sure I heard in school but had long since forgotten. Things that now have more meaning to me like how the civil war sparks were flying hot with South Carolina at the time Jackson was elected…more than 30 years before the war broke. I find myself asking the same question of him that I did of Obama, which was why you’d even want to be president coming into a term when there are so many big problems and unrest. To really appreciate the situation at the time Jackson became president you have to put a few critical pieces in place: The time of war and unrest with the Indian nations was at its peak, Florida and the majority of the west were still under foreign control presenting a constant worry of attack, the new nation was still in its infancy determining what roles the federal government would and should play, and South Carolina’s growing push for secession fueled by their success of ignoring a federal law they didn’t like many years before - an action that had been purposely unaddressed so as not to cause more problems. As if those big ticket items weren’t enough, Jackson experienced problems within his leadership circles when his own Vice President, Calhoun, resigned to head up the rebellion and hopeful secession of South Carolina, sharing and spreading the view that state right’s were more important than federal ones. Now I ask myself, who wants to take on that kind of mayhem? And yet he did, the nation was secured and still functions today because of it.

I think the past gets fuzzy. I think it gets clouded with the formation of political parties and definitions, a travesty in my opinion. Some of our best presidents like Lincoln were of parties newly formed, some short lived. The party didn’t define the leader then anymore than I believe it does now. I don’t think where we are today is that much different in regards to serious crisis and human problems than it was many years ago. I think we experience the problems we do because of human will and spirit and we triumph those problems for the same reason. I think there’s more lessons in history than we may recognize.

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I was reading through the inaugural speech of President Obama and this section really struck me. It is full of powerful, positive visuals:

“Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished.

“…Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

“…All this we can do. All this we will do.”

So often in my life I find myself making things harder because I view my circumstances with a focus on the things that changed, and often not for the better. I forget to remember those important things that haven’t changed, those most intimate pieces of who I am and what got me as far as I’ve come. I was impressed with the President touching on this. What got me here may not get me there, but it most certainly is the springboard and foundation for it.

I pray that the positive energy and spirit of today will live on in the hearts of people everywhere, long after the sun has set and the signs of today’s inaugural event are swept away.

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It’s hard to believe that it can be 5 years ago. So much of it seems like it’s only been a few months. The words of my Great-Aunt, Letha Wilcox ring in my head, “And it came to pass, not to stay.”

I was living in Idaho on that fateful day terrorists attacked. We had just returned home from a trip to New York City a few months previous. On that trip we took the elevator to the 110th story of the south tower to the observation deck. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. It was amazing. Although we didn’t know it at the time, our timing was impeccable. There were no clouds to distort our view, no long lines to reach the top – nothing but clear skies and skyscrapers as far as the eye could see. It was a once in a lifetime experience -an experience on the brink of extinction, though no one would ever have dreamed that possible.

It was frustrating being surrounded by so many natives to our rural Idaho community. They had no ties, connections or experiences with NYC. To them this was just a sad thing. I couldn’t share with them how tragic it was, how majestic that city is or amazing those towers were because they’d never experienced it. Experience is the only true teacher. So my husband and I sat glued to the TV for half the day watching things unfold. It was as if the entire world had grown quiet and time had become suspended for those first few hours after the initial attack. The shock and horror were almost tangible.

At a personal level, the images I saw on my screen struck a deep and resounding chord in my heart. I was recovering from a three month illness that came without warning and with a vengeance. It started with a trip to the ER and few days at the hospital. It grew into daily visits to the doctor, hundreds of tests, trips to the University of Utah to be seen by specialists and a full month of rehabilitation in physical therapy. No one knew what it was. I spent nearly three months wondering if tomorrow would come or if I’d be able to walk again. Now the lives of so many were experiencing so many of the same horrible emotions and uncertainty.

Grief and devastation ran rampant over the next 24 hours. It paralleled so closely my own personal circumstances. I was still reeling when my husband dropped the next big bombshell the very next day. All of his outsourced, out of state contracts decided to invoke force majeure. Although his portions of the contracts were fulfilled, he would now never see the full dues agreed upon for his services. In the height of our greatest financial distress with all my medical bills, (self employment insurance stinks!) we now had no income. In an instant everything changed. Security was replaced with doubt, peace with fear.

I replayed the scenes in my mind of the towers crashing to the ground. They symbolized exactly how things felt in my own life. I wondered if we could ever possibly recover from the devastation and ruin that surrounded us.

Six months later a job was finally secured in another state. The rebuilding was long and hard. There were days when I would sit in tears praying for miracles. And days when I’d sit in tears because miracles came. Bankruptcy was never an option and I found great satisfaction knowing that we survived two of the top three reasons most common to this plight: major medical bills, loss of income and divorce. In the end, the words of my Great Aunt rang true: “And it came to pass, not to stay.”

It has come to pass, but I will never forget. And neither will millions of other Americans who united in hope and rebuilding after that tragic day. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. They’re right.

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This morning I’ve had several moments to stop and ponder on the sad day of 2001. I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to the many US troops, leaders and volunteers who fight the war on terrorism every day.

I’ve recently been reading Brad Thor’s books. They all touch on terrorism much in the way TV’s 24 does. Scot Harvath is the Jack Bauer of Brad’s books and they are as engaging to read was 24 is to watch. It may be fiction, but I’ll bet there are people who experience much of the constant stresses that the characters in Brad’s book face every day. Anyway, it adds to my awareness of the many people who serve to help keep me and my family safe from the constant threats of terrorism.

This post is left in loving memory of those lost and all those who remember.

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Mike over at Be A Good Dad shared a cute video of his little guy dancing today. I love watching kids in free form creativity. He inspired me to get my son’s video uploaded and shared (which I hate to admit has been on the “list” of things to do for almost two weeks now!)

A couple weeks ago we went to a big Constitution Week celebration with emphasis on Benjamin Franklin’s 300th birthday. The kids had a blast. Lee Greenwood was the entertainer for their program that night and during the pre-concert music my 3 year old started some entertaining of his own. I only had my digital camera with me so the lighting and picture quality aren’t stellar, but you get the gist of the little guy expressing his creativity through dance and a few singing phrases. I’m not completely sure but I think his dancing and singing inspired the music to follow. *wink*

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It’s hard to believe that it can be 5 years ago. So much of it seems like it’s only been a few months. The words of my Great-Aunt, Letha Wilcox ring in my head, “And it came to pass, not to stay.”
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