Where to start? I sat down in a race against the clock to blog a few thoughts running through my head on how today feels like an almost day to me. One of those moments when you feel like you almost reached the mark on so many things. As I was struggling to organize my thoughts, I decided maybe a definition or two might help, so I opened a new window to google the word. I started glossing over the page and then I hit the bottom link and stopped short. I think you’ll see why.

Its link is purple because I HAD to click on that to see if it was really mine. It is! I’m down to 10 minutes to post this now and my mind is spinning in the oddity of seeing my own link come up on a search. Regardless of Google’s changes and internal patterns, seeing something of your own come up on a search page is pretty fun!

Almost: to nearly but not exactly achieve something. Do you ever have an almost day? A day when you reflect on how you’re almost at a new deadline, almost ready to take another step in a process or project? Or maybe just a reflection moment on how you almost reached a goal, expectation, etc.? I was having just this experience when I sat down to start this post; thinking on how we’re almost at the point of knowing what the future weeks and schedule bring regarding our upcoming move. How it’s almost time to pick up my son from school. How it was almost warm enough to enjoy being by the pool for an afternoon reading excursion.

I’m almost there in so many ways, and SO NOT in so many others. It’s a brain bender. So I’ll end this post with a quote that struck me with incredible impact the first time I saw it years ago in a commercial. The words were being spoken by the author and the reality of his words made a mark that EXACTLY hit the mark.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
~Michael Jordan

So here’s to the almost days, the many little failures that allow us to succeed. Here’s to success!

This post comes during a “life time-out”, or as it shall be known by me from this point on. A time when the daily life routine is interrupted for an important news flash. I’d be remiss not to follow the pattern and take a time out from my daily routine to write about it.

My heart is as full as my eyes at the moment, which just happen to be overflowing with emotion. I just hung up the phone with a friend. While content is personal, the feeling is universal. This dear friend isn’t someone I can put a tally of years next to, our time together was relatively short. It’s been several months since we had interaction, I’m chagrinned to reflect on the probability that I didn’t even get a Christmas card to her (I so hope I did!!). But here’s the magic, none of that matters because frankly, none of that matters. It’s not how long you know someone - it’s how well. It’s not the things you don’t do - it’s the things you do. Some people you get to know because you work with them, others because you serve with them, others because you share similar life experiences or live next to them, and the list of reasons goes on and on. The bottom line is there is a list and its bottom line is the same: people, that’s what it it’s all about folks, people.

On a day when my mood has been a reflection of the continuous rain outside (for all those friends who endure many days of rain, I have a newfound respect for you!), I can sit here at my computer and reflect how moments of interaction with friends through the day have brought me intermittent rainbows. One doesn’t know this because she was simply sending me an email which brought on some discussion during my day, but it was a rainbow all the same. In fact, most of the people who do much for me probably don’t know it. I try to express my gratitude and love often, but I know I miss more than I catch. If my friends who read and comment on my posts here could see what they do for my heart, they might be surprised. It seems so little a thing, but it all comes back to those who take the time to make the time. The busy dad in Oregon, the friend I met in a chat room so many years ago when our daughters were babes and who bless her heart still finds ways to find me and reach out to me, the co-worker from years ago, and the list goes on and on. Or how about that sweet lady who smiled at me at the grocery store, or the nice man who offered to take my cart when I’d unloaded the bags? Yes, they added rainbow fragments to my day too. If I had but the immediate memory and time to write about each of them I could fill an entire page. If I could extend it to those who have touched my life it would turn into volumes. If I could wrap it all up I’d have a lifting power beyond imagination. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Trust in your heart. Trust in your feelings. When you find yourself thinking you should just call someone you should. It’s the someones in your life that make it worth living. It’s the calls you make that make the difference.

I’m taking a life time out to share my thoughts. To openly put out there how grateful I am for all the people that make my little world go round. You are many. You are amazing. You are what it’s all about.

It’s a lesson I have to keep teaching myself: it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.

Allow me to expound. I’m impatient, plain and simple. I want what I want and I want it right now. I tend to get frustrated when this plan is interrupted. Enter the lesson of the journey - the interruptions are the entire point; the very reason and way we learn from this life and all we experience here. It’s why the advice “Come what may and love it” is so choice. Easier said than done, makes this the very reason I used the word “keep” to describe my process of learning this lesson.

The amazing thing is to realize how much stress is created by the simple plan of instant gratification. I find it also feeds procrastination and failure. Here’s how: Take any project/journey and think about the end result you want. The natural instinct is to not only want it complete, perfect and finished but consequently to put off any report on progress, etc. until that point is reached. How often does that result happen? Therefore both procrastination and failure are fed by the mere anxiety to have instant, complete, perfected and finished results not to mention the level of blood pressure and stress generated around the frustration of this impossible goal.

Case in point, this month my family moved to a new state and a home. A big task to be sure, but the bigger giant is my battle against wanting so much to have everything “done” - a reality, that when examined shows that there is no such thing! Here’s the good news, several years ago I wouldn’t have been willing to post or share anything of my progress because I would have been waiting for the finished, perfected end result first. This incidentally is why my photo albums and journaling efforts fall flat.

Here’s the skinny, it’s not all done. I have several things that are awaiting the next step like purchasing some canvas boxes to help create a pantry and other storage areas for all the things I can’t quite find a spot for yet. But progress is being made. Who knows, maybe this process will even result in some posts and shares about creative ways I found to store a lot of stuff in not so much space! In the meantime I am reminding myself to smile with each step in the journey.

So I’m walking out of my son’s elementary school this morning and I hear the beginnings of the national anthem. I can’t help but reflect on this concept of independence.

In general, I’m a huge supporter. I love American history and revel in readings of the stories, personalities and events that shaped our nation. I believe with all my heart that there was divine direction in the creation of this land of the free, and I’m grateful for this land that I call home. I’m grateful that our forefathers had the determination and courage to stand up against those who would oppress them and their freedoms. I proudly support what they stood for and the legacy they left us.

Where I have problems with independence is in the teen department. My problem isn’t with the concept of independence, it’s with the attitude teens propagate in general - that to declare their independence they must first declare war. *sigh* I read an article as a youth which left lasting impressions on me, in fact, it’s where this very phrasing of declaring independence came from. The author shared a story of a man trying to help a bee escape his office in an effort to save its life. However, the more the man did to help direct the bee to the safety of the open window, the more feisty the bee became, not only refusing the help but fighting against it. The result was a dead bee on the floor the morning after. The point of the story was how like the bee we often are, resisting and fighting back unnecessarily against those that would help us; in the end destroying ourselves. I knew then I didn’t want to be like that bee.

For years I’ve shared this counsel and story with youth I’ve worked with. Now, my daughter is entering the troubled waters of independence. I wish I could say it was going the way I wanted all the time, but alas the entire point of this life experience is to figure things out on our own. This morning she stormed out of the house murmuring a familiar reprise of the overly restrictive parent and a desire to escape. The culprit? A stupid item of clothing. In her mind, mom is making way too much out of it, the shorts aren’t too short and she should be allowed to make her own choices. In mom’s mind the shorts break school dress code and were only purchased by permission with her own money on the agreed compromise that this argument would never come up - that they would only ever be worn at home for play purposes. I wish I could help her see that her anger is really targeted at herself, that mom’s an easy scapegoat in the world of peer pressure. But wishing won’t make it so.

I find myself echoing the familiar words of choosing to stand for something. I worry that our youth today don’t really understand this, that they mistakenly believe that being part of the crowd is just the way things are and doesn’t really impact them or their future. When something as simple as how you dress can cause so much distress, I worry for the big items the future holds. Every person needs a strong sense of self and self worth to survive this crazy world. You don’t get that by succumbing to the pressures of following the crowd. You get it by being able and willing to stand up for all the things you believe in and that make you who you are, right down to your ’shorts.’ You can’t be ashamed to be who you are, even if it defies the loose standards of all those around you. The sad part of the shorts story is that it’s not really what my daughter wants or believes in but she can’t see that. She’s so blinded by the season of life and influence of friends and peers she can’t see how this belief is undefined, far from unique and not even her own. Yet she’s ready to enlist in a battle for it, to join the chorus of youth in defiance of rules and restrictive authority. I question now my giving in to any compromise at their purchase months ago. Maybe I should have said no way no matter what. But then how could she learn of consequences? How could she learn of making her own decisions and avoided the fateful trap of resentment which leads to a desire of rectifying to the ultimate extreme the day she’s completely free to make all her own choices? There’s a recipe for disaster, making decisions on purely emotional premises, worse premises imagined and exaggerated - this is the future of the feisty bee. I don’t want my daughter to be the bee, and I don’t want her to want to be the bee.

Now I know my daughter is young, I know these years are formidable and critical, I know she’s a good kid and I know that her wanting to wear short shorts is a drop in the bucket of real and serious issues. The problem is I also know that the adversary also knows she is young, that these years are formidable and critical and that she’s a good kid. He’s neither young nor good, and this frightens the snarf out of me. If she starts adopting the views, attitudes and beliefs of those around her now the chances of surviving these tumultuous years without scarring are nil. The saying goes that if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. I believe this simply analogy of the shorts is why, after all it all starts somewhere and it doesn’t start with fireworks; no it starts with the tiniest bit of wear and tear to weaken the fabric. Today it’s shorts, tomorrow it’s something bigger. Sadly, it’s all wrapped in the lies that there are no consequences, no accountability. The short shorts so typify all this, and so ends my analogy of the shorts.

But that’s all that ends. My efforts to help my daughter wade through the waters of independence will never end. Her learning life’s lessons of accountability are just beginning. Agency is given to all, but independence is earned. Earn it wisely my young friends, earn it wisely.

Just when you think you’re getting things figured out, something happens that presses a potential life “reset” button. I haven’t decided yet if this is a reminder of our lack of control, or just opportunities for those who choose to view them that way.

Four years ago we bought a new home which we love. The market crashed and things are upside down, but it doesn’t bother us as we’ve never planned on moving again. Additionally, we’ve had multiple conversations about how happy we are in our home, area, family life, jobs, etc., etc., etc. We’ve even come up with a financial plan we’re really excited about. Life is really good!

(Insert potential reset button here)

Yesterday, Blake got an email from a company in Madrid, Spain asking if he’d consider a job offer. I should preface that potential job offers and interest are a fairly frequent occurrence for him. However, this one came from some referrals at Facebook and Google, which speak to the potential level of seriousness and scope on this one. It’s too early to tell if it will be a viable offer, but it’s sure brought some distraction the past 48 hours. The last time I felt like this was when I started the wheels turning for a job in April, and as I’ve now been working there for 3 months we know how that one worked out. It’s a good anxiety, but it is anxiety. Either way, the consideration of a major life reset is a good thing. It makes you think of things you hadn’t and other things you have in new ways.

Wonder what I’ll be thinking next week?!

I’m sitting here reflecting on how much can happen in such little time. In just the past six months our family got a dog, my daughter cut 6 inches off her hair and got braces, I got a new calling at church and a job, and I’m having to cut off all my son’s long pants into shorts because he’s gotten so tall. As I sat here going through pictures I thought these comparisons would be a fun way to share my point:

That’s the same dog, same strawberry box, same pool and even the same me with yet another long to short hair change! Who knows what six more months will bring?!

Well, it’s official. I took an offer yesterday to return to the working world. I’ll go in a few hours this week and start on Monday.

Don’t feel left out, this was really out of the blue for me too. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t looking for work. The possibility landed in my lap and after exploring it, everything just feels right, so I’m taking the leap. The people are top notch, the opportunity is high and the skill set is right up my alley. All that office administration, organizing, computing, etc., etc., etc.

It’s not like I need more to do, but I swear the stars were just lining up for this and in a time when so many I know and love are struggling to find jobs, keep jobs, or change jobs I just can’t walk away from an amazing opportunity. Now that the shock is over I’m really excited to dig in!

I’m hoping that my new schedule will help me be even more productive with my time. I haven’t had to balance these scales of activity for some 15 years so it will take some time, but I think it’s going to be really great. Taylor isn’t quite on board yet, but he’s going to have to experience it before he can comprehend it. His reaction was less than optimal with a few tears and response that I couldn’t go to work because I needed to be just his mom. We’ve tried to explain that my hours fit within his schools schedule so outside of summer he’ll never even know I’m gone, but he’ll have none of it yet. I think once he can experience it he’ll be able to understand that I can go to work and still be his mom too. Cidnie was a little resistant at first but got right on board with a little explanation and is excited for me. She asked me every day last week if I’d gotten the job and when I did if she could tell people.

So a new adventure begins.

Life finds a lot of parallels in daily events. Sometimes you find yourself up, other times down. They say the see-saw effect is a requirement to appreciate the meaning of both sides. I’m sure that’s true and likely the knowledge that there is an up for the down is what pulls us through. Often, you have to get through a period of things being much worse before they get better. This is definitely true of big projects; you end up making a bigger mess to tear something up in preparation for replacement or repair. I suppose you could say the same is true of us as humans; so often we end up making a bigger mess before learning from and enhancing that area of our lives. The goal in the end is always to find that other side of the see-saw.

This week we’ve been working on our pool. We’d pushed the limit for maintenance and it was time to do things right. The salt cell system that generates the chlorine for the pool started going on the blitz last summer. We’re learning it’s a lot like computers today, the system we have is now outdated and not supported for repairs. We’ll be installing a new system in a few days. Experience tells us how the ends justify the means, which believe me, is all that’s gotten us through this project. First, I have to deal with my personal heart murmur over the cost of the new system. Then it’s on to the physical labor portion of the project.

Step #1 drain the pool:

This is done by having a friend who lets you borrow their pump, and running said pump for about 12 hours:

Step #1.5 manually drain the final amount the pump can’t:

This part truly sucked, not just because all the grime and filth was concentrated, but because that small puddle was very deceptive. Those final 3-4 inches were another 350ish gallons of water. I know this because I manually filled and lifted out a 6 gallon shop vac 60 times.

Step #2 Scrub down the walls with a chlorine solution and the calcium build up on the tile with a pumice stone:

Step #3 Admire the work of a completely cleaned pool as you massage raw feet and burning muscles:

Step #4 Start the refill:

This is after about 14 hours. I’m guessing it will take about 36 hours to fill. Did I mention how big this pool is?!

I’m going to enjoy our pool this summer so much more than I ever have before, even with the deck in need of repair. And so you know, I’ve already looked into that as a do it yourself project and it’s a no go. I’ll definitely have to fork over a lot of pennies to have new kool deck put down. I’ll appreciate that more when it’s done too.

While I was working on removing the last few inches of pool water, Blake was working on a project with the help of a good friend. Our grill is almost back in working order. As we dug out the old line (or what’s left of it) we felt a new gratitude for getting the gas line turned off a year and a half ago!

We’ve now got the new line put down and hooked up ready for inspection to turn the gas line back on. We opted NOT to put it right under the electrical line against the house like the former pipe ran.

What gets drained, gets filled back up. What gets dirty can be cleaned. There’s a life parallel there.

I’ve been hit lately with the recognition and importance of good things. I’ve always known that negative screams, it’s why we tend to notice it most, but the positive is always there waiting patiently and quietly to be found. Here’s some I found lurking amongst my “negatives” today:

Weeds: So they’re all over my backyard reminding me of how much work there is to do, but they personify determination and a free spirit and when they’re gone I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing a job has been done.

Stunted: These little flowers made it out of the ground, even blossomed but they’re only a few inches tall and the flowers are about the size of my thumbnail. What a reminder of how important nourishment is. It’s so easy to stunt ourselves and our growth, I wonder what I’m holding onto that I need to let go of and what things I need to be embracing more to nourish myself?

Bare: My new trees are budding but still look so bare, yet the promise that sings from those little budding leaves is amazing!

Too Late: I didn’t get some of my broccoli stocks cut before they began to flower, now I can’t eat them but boy they look pretty, big and strong. Maybe the late bloomer is stronger and prettier for the delay?

Influence: “Bloom where you’re planted” came to mind as I looked at these flowers planted side by side at the same time. I wonder what made one take off and the other not? Am I blooming?

Sideways Volunteer: First the picture is sideways, just like I feel somedays! Second this is a volunteer tree or shrub, it’s finding it’s way without any direct help or nourishment from me…..hmmmmmm

Unglued: Ug, this is the face of my pool cool deck, it’s literally coming unglued everywhere and chipping like crazy. I guess the upside is change is imminent and won’t it look nice and be appreciated when it’s redone?!

Dirty: Two pool steps, one got cleaned off when my son tested the water temperature this week, the next step remains neglected and dirty as the vacuum doesn’t climb stairs. I wonder what I’m neglecting because it’s a little harder to get to? The clean sure looks nice!

Cycles: Death is unavoidable, yet new growth is always there to replenish.

Singed: Some of these tomato plant leaves were singed by frost and cold, yet they didn’t let that stop their growth. There’s a lesson or two in there somewhere.

Clean Up: It’s too heavy to lift now, but it indicates progress don’t you think?

I think I’m really struck with the reality of how our perceptions paint our reality. I know so many people who find a blame or excuse for everything, including making good things look bad. But the reality is, there’s good in almost everything. You just have to look for it to see it. I hope I’m the kind of person that encourages good things with those that associate with me. I hope I’m a lifter and not a leaner, at least not all the time!

So what’s good in your life?

This morning I took a moment to walk through my yard and enjoy the simple pleasures; to appreciate newness, marvel at the wonder of creation and drink in the goodness of a new day. Here’s some of what I saw: