Yesterday I started a series on simplicity and balance. I pointed out the greatest reasons why we strive for them and why it’s so tough. I challenged the reader to take the first step by making the simple choice to become aware of where you spend your time and energies. I also shared, through example, the importance of breaking down our tasks by explaining that this tip sharing concept would be made into a series of smaller and more manageable posts. Today’s task is to organize those smaller steps.

Here’s what I’ll cover in this series: (more…)

It seems that some things in life are never ending.  Two as wife and mother are balancing the budget and coming up with meals.  But the good news is that I’m finding some things that are making me more successful at both so thought I’d share.

First - finances: I was recently introduced to Mvelopes.  So far so great.  I have always tried to do a system similar to this but most of it stayed in my head or was something that came up by way of review when balancing the checkbook.  And doing things after the fact isn’t very helpful when it comes to managing finances. 

Side step: I love that things are so easy for balancing these days - like I no longer have to manually enter my transactions into my Quicken software, just do a quick click on the one step update and everything from my bank drops into my accounts.  BUT this also makes it very easy to spend more because I spend less time actually interacting with the spending process. 

This new program seems to be providing a missing link for me and added to two other practices I’ve recently implemented, I’m seeing a big difference.  The other two are: 

1. Breaking down bigger payments into weekly installments.  

I set up automated, recurring payments each week for 1/4 the amount of the total bill in my banking institution’s free online banking tools.  It keeps things more even in my account, eliminates late fees and forgotten bills and it gets me ahead as there are a few extra weeks each year.

2. Pulling out some actual cash to push in a cash stash envelope at home. 

I find that actually seeing and touching my money helps me value it more - which means spend it less readily.  It’s such a peace of mind to know I have some cash on hand for emergencies or pleasures.  The key to keeping it for me is using larger bills.  I may only pull 10 or 20 a paycheck out for cash but when I can I exchange the smaller bills for 50s and 100s.  Amazing how something so simple can make such a positive difference!  

Second - meals:  Planning is critical.  It’s funny that I love organizing yet hate implementing meal plans.  They always feel so restrictive and complicated.  But, determined to get our dining out bill envelope down I forced myself to sit down with a few cookbooks Friday and compile a short list.  Here are some of the lessons learned from this week:

1. Keep it simple.  Don’t try to plan an entire week when you’ve never been good at planning even one day out.  I picked four dishes that looked good and didn’t assign them a day.
2. Make your spending expectations realistic.  Mine were out of whack because there were so few things I needed to complete the dishes that I was certain I’d spend very little.  As we left the store my husband was happy commenting on how that was so reasonable while I was mourning because it was nowhere near what I had on my radar.  On this note - DON’T take your family and DON’T go to a super/mega store with all the budget busters.  Half of my bill was a result of these two things!
3. Don’t be afraid of prices or trying something new.  I almost talked myself out of a bag of pre-cooked, shelled and de-veined shrimp because it was $10.00.  The other bags of uncooked were a fraction of the price (if money is more important than time this is the answer for you).  I’ve never bought shrimp at the grocery store before so was intimidated, but because this was one of only four dishes on my list and I already picked up the other ingredients for it I relinquished.  Last night we had that coconut shrimp and it was awesome!  How silly in hindsight that I even questioned $10.00 for an entire meal when we easily spend three times that in one meal dining out.  Good reality check. ;o)
4. Let go of past premonitions and habits - get off your ‘duff and get started.  Yesterday I hadn’t started anything yet and it was 5:00 p.m.  I was so tempted to just bag it and go out to eat.  But I forced myself to get up and at least look at my dishes menu.  When I read that the shrimp would thaw in 5-7 minutes under running water I realized the whole dinner wouldn’t take long to pull together.  The challenge is in getting started.  It was not only quick it was successful with the entire family enjoying the meal. 

So it’s mid week, we haven’t eaten out once yet, we’re spending more time together as a family, spending less money on food and I’m feeling a surge of success. 

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So I was just driving back from an outing with my kids and thought I’d share a typical moment in the life of being a parent. Outings with kids always prove most enlightening on multiple levels. There are various obstacles related to age but no matter the age there are a few common factors: patience, wander, and observation. The patience factor is the one that makes you desperately wish your child had duct tape over their mouths to subdue the endless barrage of requests to buy one of everything they see. It is paralleled only to the screaming child which as a single and childless person you roll your eyes at with frustration but as a parent you send an understanding look of sympathy. Then you offer a silent prayer of thanks that it’s not your child and a p.s. to please keep it from becoming your child. The wander factor is two fold in that first you constantly worry about your child being more than two inches away from you thanks to movies and media like “Adam“, and second in that the moment they do get a hand’s reach away they’re touching or picking up something. I now understand what it means to “Look with your eyes and not with your hands” and thank my mother for her tireless efforts to implant the lesson in my brain. This is the factor that makes me wish someone would invent some type of force field that would prevent your kids from leaving your side - basically working something like crazy glue. And finally is the observation factor which leaves a parent with so many things to discuss later with the kids and spouse. This is the factor that causes a little too much enlightenment in some areas for your kids and the purpose of this post.

As we were standing in line to pay (you know the endless wait, constant calls for price checks, etc. that are especially prone to discount stores) my daughter observed another family with young kids. The kids were fighting and yelling at one another at a near deafening decibel. My eight year old daughter turns to me and whispers, “They’re being naughty kids aren’t they mom?” I just smile and tell her how glad I am that she’s not being naughty. When we get in the car she tells me that if she were the parent of those kids she’d ground them until they were 19. I suppress a laugh and tell her the hardest part of being a parent is learning how to apply the appropriate punishment to fit a bad behavior. I asked her if I were to ground her for yelling at her three year old brother every time she did if she’d ever have a day she wasn’t grounded. She says, “Hmmmmm, maybe that’s not such a good idea.” I suggested something more like losing a privilege or getting a time out instead. She agrees that maybe this would be better.

The beauty is what came next. It’s one of the moments you pray for as a parent because you constantly question if you’re getting through to your kids. She asks me if I remember the privileges on the fridge. This was a magnet system I came up with when she was four. I’d put pictures of her favorite privileges like swimming, playing with a friend, watching cartoons, etc. on business card magnets. One side of the fridge was the “good” side the other the “bad.” When her behavior became unacceptable she might have to move one to the bad side resulting in it being lost for a time and when she earned it back it would go back to the other side. I couldn’t believe she remembered it let alone was now asking if we could do it again.

The moral of the post is never give up hope. Sometimes they’re absorbing more than you think. ;o)

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